Why women sometimes don’t approach men first?
In the 21st century, when women haven chosen to be the moneymakers of a household or are coerced by circumstances and men have learned to cook and clean as well, some people are still living mentally in ancient times and believe that women should not approach the man first. This belief is observed commonly among women, whereas men complainВ about how they are always "expected" to approach a women first.
There are many men who aren’t socially active or are reserved and they are the ones who need the girl to approach them first. Imagine, if the girl doesn’t approach him and waits for him to approach first, in that time someone will steal him away because he might be tired of waiting.
It is easy to say that there’s an ego problem playing its part which is why men have to deal with the awkwardness of asking a girl out but people ignore that there are several factors that one keeps in mind before thinking about asking a man out and some of them are strong enough to keep them away from asking out.
В 1. What if he is already in a relationship?
Some women don’t want to be the ones who would ruin the family life of a guy. Sometimes this fear holds them back. Imagine yourself in a relationship and then there comes another lady and asks your guy out. You would never want that to happen. This is the same fear that some girls have. They can overcome this by making sure that the man is actually not in a relationship and then ask him out.
2. What if he just looks good and doesn’t have a charming personality?
To be really honest, no one has the time nowadays to deal with someone who has an incompatible personality type. The fear of being blinded just by a person’s physical appearance can also lead a woman in an awkward temporary fling. As mentioned earlier, nobody has the time for that nowadays and people prefer to start a relationship with someone who is reliable.
Rejection in this case is the mother of all fears. A woman probably thinks what if I go to him and he clearly says no, how will I deal with the embarrassment, how will I face everyone, what will the world think about me? and the list of potential questions goes on and on. This fear will keep a woman from asking even the most charming men out.
4. What if he knows something weird about my past?
It is a small world and we all have the fear that someone knows something about our past before we even tell them about it. A woman would gradually like to tell all about her past to a man while maintaining a good image. If the man already knows a few scary facts then there obviously is a bucket full of embarrassment and rejection.
5. What if he starts to judge me?
This is something which women are afraid of other than rejection. What if the guy thinks that I am not his type of girl because I made the first step? This doesn’t happen normally but women have this fear of being judged by the man himself as well as other people in her surroundings. It has been taught to women previously that it is the man who will have to approach you which is why even now and then some of us believe that approaching the man first is a very bold move. If the guy has the same belief, then the woman might be in trouble and face embarrassment.
6. He is too good for me:
We all calculate risks before doing something and same is the case with asking a man out, if we think the man is too good for us then there is a good chance that we’ll back out. If a man is better than us as a person overall, then there won’t be much compatibility and instead of giving one another a hard time, it is better to not start anything at all. This saves a lot of time and emotional effort.
7.What if he likes someone else?
This is closely related to this first point where the man might be in a relationship with someone else. Here, the man likes someone else but has not asked her out yet and that someone is NOT you. In this case, there’s embarrassment at the end of the road and the embarrassment is for only you. This type of rejection is yet another fear of many women which prevents them from asking a man out.
Some women are super bold and they probably don’t believe in all these points, they will still approach a man whom they like, irrespective of all the other factors.
Ladies, talk to me
If you get into a situation where the man is shy to ask you out, will you be the one to take the first step or not?