They broke you once, don’t let them break you twice.
Heartbreak, it simply cannot vanish. With time, the wound heals but the scar! The scar remains. The painful memory keeps resurfacing every now and then. After the heartbreak, even if you get back with your partner, things won’t ever be the same.
Yes, you two might try to work it out or try to be normal but for one of the partners, the pain will always be there at the back of their mind, trying to break free, trying to come out at the most unexpected moments.
Second chances are all the rage these days. However, getting back together with your partner after they have hurt you is almost never healthy. It does not matter if you decide to give your partner a second chance after a month or a year after the heartbreak, the pain will still be there, constantly poking the subconscious.
But like most things, relationships can be fixed with perseverance and hard work. We’ve hunt the most prevalent and difficult aspects that make the patch-ups so hard but working on them can make falling back in love much easier and a smoother process.
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Pain and the anticipation of pain
Recent researches have shown that heartbreak causes such a pain that lights up the same areas of the brain as physical pain does. Heartbreak is devastating on both mental level and emotional level. Another research showed that getting over a breakup is same as going through the drug withdrawal.
That kind of pain is not easy to forget. Even if you give your partner another chance, you will still have that memory of the heartbreak, the endless nights, the crying, the anger and the helplessness that you felt. Is this something you can get over easily and restore the normality that was there before your partner broke your heart?
Think of it the heartbreak as an accident that you need to recover from and like all injuries, emotional injuries take a lot of time to heal before you can walk properly. – Continue reading on the next page
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Fear
Let’s say that you have managed to get over the pain or maybe you’ve learned to live the crushing disappointment you faced in the past. Now comes the fear part; there will always be a fear of the future heartbreak.
What if it happens again? what if my partner hurts me again like last time? Questions similar to these will plague your thought-process for a long time to come. This predicament might even cause more fights and arguments with your partner.
Things might even go well for a little while but there will always come a time where your partner does something out-of-order and this something will trigger the memories of past heartbreak and the fear too, will come flooding in.
The fear of future heartbreak will probably make it very hard for you to fall back in love unless you can be certain that it won’t happen again. Before security, it is almost impossible to rekindle the fleeting love.
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Uncertainty
One of the worst aspect of being with someone who has broken your heart is uncertainty. No matter if your partner fixes everything and the relationship goes back to normal, there will always loom the element of Uncertainty’
You can’t be sure if your partner will hurt you again or not. Uncertainty coupled with fear is one of the worst feelings a human being can experience. Us humans, we form schemas from our past experiences. And in this case, your past experience was horrible.
An effective strategy to quash this anxiousness caused by uncertainty would be to make sure that you have a solid commitment before falling back in love. This commitment can be in the form of moving in together or getting engaged.В – Continue reading on the next page
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Self-respect
Would it be easy for you to be with a person who disrespected you? Who hurt you and did not even care at the moment? A person that abandoned you when you needed him/her the most?
A person who did all that has of course, tarnished your self-respect. Without the person that you once were, it’ll be very hard for you to fall back in love with the person who deprived you of your self-respect and self-esteem.
Another option could be to first work on restoring your own sense of worth before giving your partner another chance. This way, you will be ensuring your own safety from another heartbreak if things become unscrupulous again in the future. Love yourself first and then maybe, it’ll be easier for you to fall back in love with your partner if he shows you the same kind of love that you show yourself.
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But
At the end of every dark tunnel, there is a bright path waiting. If two people really want to fix a relationship by giving their full efforts, it sure can work. In that case, communication is the key element. Instead of displacing the hurtful feelings, you should identify the feelings such as fear, disappointment and uncertainty- and talk to your partner about it. Moreover, when resentment arises, it should be dealt with as soon as possible because our negative feelings feed and grow when we keep them inside of us.
The aforementioned aspects of the heartbreak make it hard to fall back in love but dealing with those issues with your partner can actually make your newly rekindled relationship stand on a much stronger foundation than before.
It is possible for you to fall back in love with the person who put you through so much pain. Humans are forgiving beings when people make up for the wrongs that were done to them. You too, can forgive your partner if he/she is worth it. You, too, can put the negative feelings in the past, where they belong and move on towards a bright and secure future.
