Why the Idea of Commitment Ends a Relationship before it Starts
Commitment is a big deal and certainly not an easy one. Men and women have different views of it, as it is observed; women love the idea of spending their lives with the man they love and so do men but at certain points in a relationship, commitment tends to freak men out and there is no denying that. At times like proposing, before getting engaged and married etc. but what scares them away at once is the idea of commitment in the beginning of a relationship.
You tell him I’m looking forward to something serious in this relationship in this exact form or in disguise and he packs his bags to runs away to the Himalayas where you or anybody related to you cannot find him.
Just like you would shoo away a guy who is only sexually interested in you, men tend to be absurd only talking about being serious’ in the beginning of a relationship. It does not, at all, mean that women are overly attached or clingy but it only happens to give men the wrong idea. You have had bumpy relationships and you are really tired of men coming and going like it is a festival where you are not supposed to stay after midnight, so you are justified in wanting to settle down and have something serious, finally.
But, men running off on the name of commitment can be justified too, for they see an insecure person in you when you bring up the where is this relationship going’ talk only after a month or two of dating.
Saying I’m serious in the initial stage of a relationship sounds to men like I love you already, will you marry me?
This one question of yours might actually be the reason why guys run off after a few weeks of dating. Maybe it is your expectations from them expressed that make them think twice before going out on another date with you or call you after the amazing date on which you told him so.
They get the wrong idea from this expression of yours in this sense: you are insecure being single, you are unhappy alone and only want to keep dating him out of desperation for something serious’.
Some of you might disagree and reason that women only want to have something meaningful, and it is true, but to date men it is kind of important to know how their dating strategies work. – Continue reading on next page
Men Want Something Meaningful, Too
It is not like men love to fool around, sleep with women and then disappear in thin air because they enjoy doing so. Nope. Men want something meaningful, too.
Men have different ways of going on in a relationship than women who like to state that they are all about serious and meaningful connections. Your past experiences are obviously unknown to the man you are dating; he has a completely different story going on in his mind.
HE is thinking about taking further steps in the relationship slowly, he wants to see if you have fun with him and vice versa; he wants to see if being around you really is worthwhile.
It is wrong to say that everyone will like you; there are certain similarities and dissimilarities between two people and he wishes to have enough time to live through them before making any plans for what you two have.
You saying I’m looking forward to something serious also gives him the idea that you are giving off your plans to a total stranger. Yes, three dates and he IS stranger enough to say I’m serious to.
When two people date before moving on any of the next steps, they are giving each other time to get to know each other, be attracted and impressed and make mental judgments. By telling him that you want something serious, you unknowingly take that time away from him.
After you have said it, he feels bound to like you and since that time to be attracted to you is feels snatched, he may fake liking you to keep your heart, if he is a nice guy i.e. if he does not run away, it will only create problems in the future.
If you think the other way around: You would freak out too if you are having fun in a relationship and the guy puts the pressure on you to be serious about it because he feels like being so.
Not everyone starts dating someone with plans to be in a relationship with them. People like to try, wait and see where it goes. That is healthy too.
Being tired of guys being afraid to commit might make you want to settle down once and for all, but if you give the man time and let him realize on his own that you are serious about what you have with him, he might only find another reason to stick to you. This way, he will also know that you not want a relationship but you want one specifically with him.
As the months go, you earn his attention by doing what you do to keep a relationship steady. He will definitely notice your interest and since he won’t be in any kind of pressure, he will feel free to invite the idea of commitment. You don’t need to play hard-to-get but your I have it because I got it’ attitude will make him fall for you so much more.
Therefore, think again before you tell a guy about wanting a serious relationship in a few weeks of dating, you might miss on something awesome.