If arguments scare you, it’s not love.
No one in the right state of mind would ever go into a relationship expecting the worst. No one ever falls in love with another person thinking that things are going to end badly. When you get into a relationship with someone, it is traditionally filled with lots of rainbows, cupcakes, meadows, and bright sunshine. You mutually express your feelings for one another and you commit yourselves to each other. You make a few compromises here and there for the sake of the relationship because you always want to promote peace and harmony with your partner. And so the initial stages of a relationship are always as bright and as magical as possible.
But then you slowly start to emerge out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship, and things don’t seem as bright as it used to be. Your individual personalities start to come out and you begin to clash with each other on various issues both big and small. You start to learn that you’re not always going to be operating on the same wavelengths and that bothers you. You start to realize that your relationship isn’t always going to be smooth sailing. It’s not always going to be easy and you are going to have to prepare yourself for a few bumps in the road. Now, there is a substantial disturbance in the relationship that was once so peaceful and harmonious. Then the real test begins. You start to argue with each other and this is where you get to see what your relationship is really made of.
You have to remember that arguments and disagreements are still perfectly acceptable modes of communication. In fact, you should always encourage important arguments in a relationship. Arguments are a sign that people in relationships have not let go of their sense of individuality and unbiased thinking. You are also essentially giving each other some much needed perspective on a variety of issues. Truly mature people would always open themselves up to the perspectives of other people because they know that this is an effective way to learn and develop through life. Arguments don’t necessarily always have to mean that things are bad in a relationship. Sometimes, some things just need to be said and it can lead to uncomfortable situations. But these are necessary nonetheless. However, couples who are always arguing should keep a few things in mind if they want these arguments to stay healthy, and not destructive:
tYou don’t always have to insist on being right.
tLearn to control your anger.
tAlways make an effort to listen to one another
tDon’t bring up any unrelated or unnecessary points.
tKeep your tongue in check.
Always keep in mind that when you argue with your partner, it isn’t always going to mean that you are in a doomed relationship. In fact, if you play your cards right, the opposite is true. It can mean that you have a very strong and stable relationship that is sturdy enough to withstand a few arguments and disagreements. It means that you allow each other to have individual thoughts, opinions, and feelings that are independent of one another. It also means that you allow each other the space that is necessary to express yourself in however way you see fit.
On the other side of the coin, relationships with couples who refuse to engage in arguments are often filled with undiluted tension and unresolved pressure. They feel like they have to suppress and censor themselves for the sake of the harmony in the relationship. They tend to bottle all of their feelings up inside and it may end up backfiring on them in the end. The lack of discourse and engagement in the relationship shows that these people are too insecure about the strength of their love; they don’t want to mess anything up by saying what they feel. They may also have a problem with trusting one another when it comes to expressing their ideas.
Also keep in mind that couples who occasionally engage in heated arguments are couples who are made up of passionate people. They are emotional people and they do not let their emotions stifle them into passivity. Instead, they are able to channel their strong feelings and emotions into something productive that brings them closer together as a couple. At the end of the day, success in a relationship all boils down to whether or not you love one another and if you are committed enough to making things work between the both of you. No amount of disagreements or arguments are going to be enough to topple the strength of your love if you don’t let it. There is a mutual respect between the both of you that polices you.
So don’t be afraid to argue with each other every once in a while. It’s just another way for you to share your love with one another.
