Let’s face it: We naturally expect men to make the first move when it comes to asking out. There have been changes in that area lately but a large number of people still stick to that ritual. When men go forward they are very often rejected by women, which leaves them puzzled as to why it happened.
It takes courage to go up to someone and risk your self-esteem by saying honest things (sometimes not very honest), therefore rejection comes with great pain. Like everything has a reason, there are reasons why women reject men without taking too much time. There are reasons why ‘no’ hits them as an answer as quickly as they are presented with the question, besides them generally not be interested in you or anyone.
Read these 12 possible reasons so that you can help yourself and avoid doing everything wrong that you are currently doing.
1. Desperation in Tone:
It is easy for everyone, not just women, to detect desperation in a person’s tone while they talk. If the talk’ is not ordinary talk but a try to ask a woman out, it gets even easier to detect desperation.
Women are keen when a man is asking them out; they are sure to be sure about every minor detail so if they smell desperation in your offer, they will say no at once. Nobody likes to have a clingy person around, especially not one who was desperate enough to go out with anybody in the first place.
Men tend to focus on their ways more than needed after a breakup; that can be a reason of unintentional desperation in their ways and their tone. Taking yourself lightly is the way to go, the ultimate solution.
The presentation is the most basic reason upon which women base their NOs, yet the most important one. It is not about looking like the richest guy in the place or wearing gold chains and rings, no. It is about looking decent, fresh and clean.
Don’t expect a woman to say yes when you have bad breath or a terrible body odor which you have not dealt with. Teeth say a lot about a person’s hygiene too, so make sure they are clean and white, especially if you smoke a lot.
Your clothes don’t have to be too formal either, just make sure they are clean and suitable for the place you are at. Hairstyle does not matter as long as the hair is clean. Nobody wants to go out with a savage.
All of this is very basic and you cannot blame the woman for saying no if you look or smell bad.
3. Don’t Be Boring:
Once you have got her attention and indulged in conversation, try to maintain the good work by not boring her amid the conversation. One word replies and no new topics to talk about can turn it off for her.
It might show your lack of interest, therefore bring up interesting things to talk about, like an event from the past you are reminded of by something she said or something from your childhood. But make sure you don’t talk about yourself all the time, give her space to talk about her likes and dislikes.
Don’t be too cheesy; a pickup line here and there might work but overdose might kill it to the core. Just talk like a moderate person, don’t show off and don’t be shy; if you are naturally shy, think of things to talk about before you approach her.
What is an instant turn-off for women is you being absolutely ambitionless, stay-at-home mama’s boy? You don’t have to be a top-notch businessman to impress a woman (although that wouldn’t hurt), just a guy who knows what he is doing with his life and is well aware of his skills and plans to implement them.
If you have doubts about your own capabilities, why would someone else, let alone a woman you are trying to woo, would be confident about your abilities?
Women see the hint of uselessness in men and reject them instantly. It does not matter if she, herself, is an independent woman or not because even if she is, her reason to reject you is just. People who cannot take their responsibility are not able to take others’.
5. Don’t Push for an Answer:
Excessive attention can kill the fun for her. Once you have started talking and the conversation is going good, keep things casual and don’t be too hard on her. That might not only seem desperate in a way but also she might get you to be a man who dominates no matter what. Let things go the way they are going unless there is a clear hint for you to step further. If she does not want to move things further, let it be.
Asking her again and again, even in closed words, can annoy her and make you look like a creep which would instantly lead to rejection. So take it easy, talk smoothly and only care about the conversation going nicely. Even if she stands up and moves back to her friends, don’t beg her to come back to you. If she really liked your company, she would come back for herself in a minute.
6. Know What You’re Doing:
Displaying a doubtful behavior might never get you any woman, in the first try, at least. Being indirect and unsure about your approach will only make her question your self-confidence and your intellect as well. If you are confident enough to ask a woman out, what good are you?
Everyone is running at a fast pace, nobody has time for a dozen chances to be given before actually going out on a date. Therefore, be confident but not cocky, there is a difference between the two.
Look at her while you are talking to her so that she knows that she has your attention. Looking at your feet or at other people while talking to her might make her feel less important’, giving her a reason to reject any offer you plan to make.
7. Chill Out:
Don’t take the conversation too hard on yourself and don’t feel under pressure while talking to her. It can make you say things you did not plan to say and give her the impression you did not plan to give. Chill out; make her realize you are not pushing too hard. Sit comfortably, maintain a moderate yet friendly tone and do not keep a poker face throughout the conversation. Sitting back and relaxing while talking will make you look self-aware and content.
Don’t fake anything. Don’t try to pull up jokes if you are not good at cracking the punchline. Try to be the most of yourself so that she knows that you do not forge a personality to impress people in the first meeting only. Make the conversation easygoing and fun; she might never even think of rejection.
8. Body Posture:
It does not always have to be words to impress or disgust, your body posture can tell the woman a lot about you and your intentions. Don’t hover over her to make her feel like you are too bossy.
Don’t hunch either to give her the wrong hint about you being aloof. Your body posture should be upright to give the confident look in you. Don’t shuffle your feet or click your toes or crack your knuckles, they can look clumsy to her, there is a high chance.
Take care of where your eyes go too. Keep them fixed on her face, occasionally shifting them to whatever you are eating or drinking but not for too long, it can seem rude. Also, do not stare anywhere below her face as also might make you look bad, very bad, indeed.
9. Don’t Be TOO Confident:
Try not to get out of hand when being confident in front of her. If you don’t keep control of your easiness with her, you might end up saying things that only sounded good in your head. Think before you speak, and when you do, be confident about it.
We all keep things in our brains that should always only stay there, so it is wise you weigh things before letting them out in front of the woman you are trying to go out on a date with.
For instance, telling her that you like football is okay, but telling her that you used to watch it at your ex-girlfriend’s place all the time might not be the best thing to say.
10. Unpleasant Habits:
If you have some annoying or unpleasant habits like picking your nose or biting your nails while talking, you don’t need to think why she rejected you. They don’t seem like a big problem but they are fuel enough for the fire of dislike for a stranger.
In order to avoid such a situation, ask your friends if you have any annoying habits like that and try to eliminate them as much as you can.
These little things might seem annoying to read but they are legit reasons why women reject men sometimes. Just the picture of you picking your hair can creep her out and be the reason for rejecting you. As little as they seem, getting rid of them should not be a problem either.
11. Good Timing:
Timing changes the game more often than not. Even if she thinks you are a great guy and nothing makes her want to reject you instantly but the timing is bad, you cannot help the situation. So make sure that the timing is right.
If you know the woman from somewhere and happen to have some access to the events in her life, make sure she is not going through a bad phase when you plan to ask her out. It can be depression, some family problem or a recent breakup that has her heart-broken. Putting your offer in front of her in such times would not only make you look like a fool but also give you the bitter no’.
12. Not Her Type:
Women have some qualities and traits attributed to the guy they want to date, naturally and personally, and if those qualities and traits do not match you, you will face rejection. And there is no way you can help it.
Even if you are the best of yourself in front of her, don’t pick your hair and don’t brag about your past relationship and be just the right guy, she still might reject you for not being like the guy she wants to date. That is how it works, although that should not be a reason for you to not work on yourself for other opportunities.
If none of these reasons apply, maybe she is taken by someone, and that is certainly not you.