There’s a fine line between being funny and being obnoxious. Today’s Reddit story comes from a wife who left her husband at the supermarket for acting like a toddler.
The Story
Reddit user smallslicedskin posted her situation on Reddit’s AITA (Am I the A**hole?), asking whether she did the right thing or not by leaving her husband at the supermarket. Here is her story:
“We all go through phases and pick up annoying habits, and sometimes we just need our loved ones to gently tell us if we’ve picked up a particularly egregious habit.”
“Sometime in the last year, my husband has picked up a habit where he talks like a baby. At first it was funny, but passed into embarrassing, cringeworthy behavior quickly.”
“Examples: doggo, pupper, woofer/subwoofer, pibble, hooty-boy, peepo, birb, meowmeow, sammy, sammiches, sammywhammy, chicky nuggies, chicky tendies, adding a toddleresque “lisp” to words, and the ones that really get gross are childish euphemisms for genitalia or s*x.”
“I cannot emphasize this enough: it is not endearing or sexy to have my husband talk about my ‘boobies’ and his ‘weiner’ and “weenie” and ‘wee wee’, ‘hoohas’ and ‘bajingos’ (Nostalgia for Scrubs be damned). We have not had s*x for six months because he cannot stop talking about my “boobies” and it makes me sick.”
“Just before the pandemic hit, we were out at a restaurant with some friends, he actually ordered a ‘chicky sammy’ like, said that exact phrase. Chicky. Sammy. Look, it’s totally fine that he ordered the chicken sandwich. That’s not the issue. Our friends noticed the baby talk, because he insisted on continuing the ‘joke’ and even started talking with this god awful toddler… lilt? Accent?”
“After that, I just couldn’t stomach the idea of going out with him to adult places. I’d go out to the brewery with friends, but god forbid he join me and say ‘Me wanty ‘nother beer!’ or something.”
“I don’t know where it came from. I don’t know why he’s doing this. I finally hit my limit when we were grocery shopping and everything seemed normal and fine until he gasped like a kid, ran to the ice cream section and jumped up and down yelling “ICE CWEAM ICE CWEAM! I WANT CHOCWIT!”
“I was MORTIFIED. People were staring at him and me. He kept going and kept saying “CAN WE GET POPSICOOOS?” and I just said ‘Either talk to me like an adult or I’m leaving.'”
“He started saying OOOOOO YOU MUST BE FUN AT PARTIES and LIGHTEN UP, WILL YOU? And shit like that. I just said f**k it, and left the store, leaving him to walk home (like a mile, it was fine) because I couldn’t even look at him.”
“Since then, things have been very tense, and he keeps telling me that he wants an apology for embarrassing him by leaving him in the store. I told him that people don’t get to demand apologies, if someone wants to apologize, it’s up to them, and I am absolutely not going to apologize for saving myself the embarrassment of a 35 year old man with a mortgage and retirement account asking for ‘CHOCWIT ICE CWEAM.'”
“He got his f****ing Mom involved, no joke. She keeps telling me it’s just a phase and that he’s probably bored and I should be happy this is his midlife crisis, rather than him f****ing 19 year olds at the local bar.”
“I’m going crazy. AITA? Do I really just need to let my husband continuously embarrass me like this?”
Her post became viral, with a lot of people asking for updates. She later posted a new post on her profile, telling everyone what had happened since her last post. Here it is:
“Well, here I am with the update. I talked to my husband after doing some soul searching. There was no tumor, no kink, no childhood trauma. I asked him first if he understands why I am upset, and to please, please clarify if he was doing this on purpose or if we needed to seek medical intervention.”
“He didn’t want to tell me at first and I got worried. He eventually caved when I suggested we look for a doctor because of how worried I am.”
“It was a bet with one of his friends that started as them trying to embarrass each other in public. He bet my husband that he couldn’t keep it up for the whole year. The only “off-limits” part was at work, because he couldn’t jeopardize his career.”
“No, no. He decided to jeopardize his marriage instead. For what prize? What was he going to win? A signed baseball. A. BASEBALL.”
“I thought he was still joking. No. He was dead serious.”
“How was the friend verifying? My husband would share little videos he took here and there of him upsetting me with the baby talk (including times he tried to initiate s*x by whispering this baby talk in my ear — I wasn’t in any state of undress). And by seeing us in public… like at the brewery. He got cross with me in the grocery store because I interrupted the recording and almost ‘blew the whole operation.'”
“He wasn’t remorseful or apologetic. He thought we were both “in” on this little joke and that I’d find it hysterical. I asked him, did he understand we haven’t had s*x in months? No no it didn’t matter, it was all worth it to him. He kept saying ‘You just don’t get it, it’s not just a baseball.'”
“I told him the joke was over, it was time to stop for good, but that I was willing to move on with him. I could forgive him. No. He wanted to keep going. There are only two months left in the bet so he’s “so close.” He said “We can have s*x if you want, we’ll just pretend XYZ” and I was just like… why does thinking about your friend even factor into this? What’s wrong with you!? You never had to do this and ruin our intimate moments! But I just didn’t get it, he had to be “in character” all the time.”
“After a lot of arguing and tears, I left him. I’m heading up to Colorado to be with my family through Christmas, and then I’m going to move in with my sister for a little while to figure out next steps. I hope it was worth it.”
The Responses
Both of her posts received a massive number of comments, with everyone being supportive of her decision. We will post some of the best comments from her update post. For context, NTA means “Not the A**hole.”
Cthulhu_Knits said:
“I’ve been hoping for an update – but never in a million years would I have guessed this outcome.”
“Wow. That’s a lot to unpack! First of all, NTA – but I think you’re right that there’s just no saving this relationship. Not only was he willing to humiliate you over a baseball – and purposely keep you in the dark over something that directly affected your mental health – not ONLY was he putting his friend’s feelings above your own – there’s something awfully creepy about the friend insisting that you be humiliated. Why are they both so angry at you? What the hell did you ever do to them?”
“I honestly believe you’re not getting the whole story here, even now.”
“Because your soon-to-be-ex seems to have so much contempt for you, so much utter disregard for your feelings that there’s no coming back from this. This is not how a loving partner acts, and how on earth would you ever be able to trust him again?”
“Lawyer up, document everything and cut your losses. Oh, and make sure MIL knows what a freak she raised.”
McShoobydoobydoo commented:
“I think you were right to leave him, his lack of respect, selfishness and stupidity were ridiculous. Im still pretty amazed he doubled down, that take special kind at a**hattery”
“Hope you have a nice Xmas break and sorry you married someone with the IQ of a punched lasagna but at least he’s gone and you can find someone who’s less of a tool”
Both of these posts have over 4k comments combined. You can read them all on the original post here and the update here.
Our Take
Most-definitely NTA. We feel for this woman for being in such an emotionally-jarring marriage and are happy for her. We truly hope she finds someone who knows how to be a real husband and not take everything as a joke.
What’s Your Take?
What’s your take on this woman’s story? Share your take in the comments below!
Sources:
Reddit – AITA for leaving my husband in the grocery store because he started acting like a toddler?
