Our world is full of strange stories that make us go, “really? that actually happened?” Such is today’s story of a woman who was asked to wear a bra at work, yep – it actually happened.
The Story
Reddit user, throwawayAITA92848, shared her pretty shocking story on AITA (Am I the A**hole?) where she explained what happened to her and what she did, to ask the community whether she did the right thing or not.
She wrote:
“This is easily the most absurd controversy that I have been involved in, in my life.”
“Day 1 of my new job. I wear a sweater and pants to work. I do not wear a bra. I have never worn a bra for two years at my previous job, and nobody has ever brought it up. I obviously have not been wearing a bra at home for the past year, during lockdown. I hate bras, I find them very uncomfortable and unnecessary. Two people come up to me during the day, and say that what I’m wearing is inappropriate and that I should wear a bra to work. This is a new job, I don’t even know any of these people. I’m literally wearing a sweater, you can’t see anything, I’m all covered up. (You can’t see anything except the shape of my b*obs, I guess). One woman literally told me these words, as she was complaining about my clothes. I have large b*obs, but I feel that what I’m wearing is completely normal.”
“Day 2 of my new job. I do not wear a bra, but I wear a t-shirt and a jacket on top of that. I am dressed even more conservatively that day 1. Two more people give me similar criticisms again. One of them is the secretary of my supervisor, so this is getting serious. I mention to her that the office literally has no dress code, and that employees can wear what is comfortable. She says that there is still an unspoken etiquette to be followed. She also mentioned that the shape of my b*obs were clearly visible.”
“For the two years I spent at my prev office, I did not wear a bra once. I usually wore sweaters or t-shirts or blouses, most of the time along with a jacket. Even though I may have large breasts, I did not see it as inappropriate or a problem. AITA here?”
She, later, added an update to her post:
“Edit : You can’t see my n*pples through my clothes. A lot of you seem to be under that impression. Apparently it’s obvious that I’m not wearing a bra, even though my n*pples are not visible”
The Responses
Reddit’s community was on the fence about this woman’s story, but the majority supported her. For context, NTA means “Not the A**hole.” Here are some of the most notable comments:
warecareflare wrote:
“My god I’m so tired of this dumba** controversy. If men were required to wear j**kstraps whenever they left the house, I’m sure people would be a little more understanding about not wearing a bra. 100% NTA”
Individual_Ad_9213 commented:
“NTA. But when other women are telling you that you’re dressed inappropriately, you might be wise to figure out why before you encounter dead ends, subtle sexism, and other micro-aggressions. Women in a company understand what the unspoken norms are. Clients may have a lot to say about how you dress without your knowing what is going on.”
AlwaysKirby said:
“NTA it’s ridiculous that people are this upset over your b*obs and how you choose to dress when there’s not even a dress code. Sounds like they have a staring problem, I’m sure HR would love to hear about it.”
Late-Impact-9571 chimed in:
“NTA! I’m so tired of people telling women what they can/can’t do with their own bodies. You’re wearing clothes. If they are uncomfortable it is THEIR problem.”
This post has over 1300 comments at the time of writing this article, you can read them on Reddit here.
What’s Your Take?
What’s your take on this woman’s story? Share your take in the comments below.
Source: Reddit
Other people see you and tell you that you should wear a bra. Obviously they have a reason to tell you this. In an office setting, you should conform. Take it off as you leave.
Studies have shown that not wearing a bra doesn’t prevent sagging. But wearing a bra might, because you can lose mass and strength in the muscles and tendons that support the breasts. If you have large breasts, you may want to wear a bra to support your back, and prevent posture issues. However, that decision should be yours to make.
You don’t mention your age, or that of the critics. I can tell you that older women were taught to believe you had to wear a bra, not just for support, but modesty. But I don’t subscribe to that nonsense. And if there is no dress policy specifically stating women must wear a bra, I wouldn’t. If there is a dress policy that specifically requires women to wear a bra, I would have to inquire as to whether men are required to wear a jockstrap, since both are allegedly support undergarments. If you choose to go braless, there will likely be tensions at your job, as the women there obviously have decided they have the right to critic the clothing choices of their peers. So what it boils down to, is how much do you want or need this job?
I am a teacher. I have a small chest. I wear a bra every day regardless. I am struggling with the reluctance here to dress appropriately in an office setting. I don’t care what “was acceptable at your other job”. If you want that freedom, go back. If you like this job, then dress as is expected. You’re NTA until you push this and get a note in your file. Then, you chose to be TA.
I hate bras, too. However, I would never go into a new work setting without my bra. That is ridiculous that you even considered it. Every office or place you work is different. Maybe you had people at the other company that likes looking at your breasts, who knows the reason. But if you want to make it at this company, then be a big girl and put on your bra.
The choice is hers. Whatever makes her comfortable. People need to stop policing other people’s bodies.