A young woman got a lot of criticism from her friends after she told one of them to stop being so picky about who she dates and either hit the gym or just stay single.
She shared on Reddit’s AITA platform that her friend, Lola, who’s 26 years old, has been without a partner for a long time despite trying lots of dating apps and even doing things like wearing white clothes all the time to attract love.
The woman said that although men often show interest in her friend, especially when they all go out together, Lola’s standards are so high that she might never find someone to be with.
According to the OP, Lola has a specific checklist for the type of guy she wants. He has to love hitting the gym, make at least $100k a year, and be skilled at playing a musical instrument. Plus, he has to be really tall, like at least 187 centimeters, which is about six foot two inches.
The issue, as pointed out by the person who got criticized by her friends for advising Lola to be less picky, is that Lola doesn’t meet the same high standards she sets for her potential partners.
“She works part time and lives with her parents, is overweight and hates exercise and has never picked up an instrument in her life,” the woman wrote.
The woman mentioned that Lola tends to bring up her lack of a dating life in almost every conversation, even though she doesn’t actually have one. She said she usually tries to overlook it, but Lola directly asked her how she managed to get her boyfriend, who’s both musically talented and athletic.
She added that she and her boyfriend share similar interests and go to the gym every day.
“I told her that if she wants to find a man like that, she should consider applying herself more in her job, going to the gym, and picking up a hobby she wants her partner to have,” she wrote. “Otherwise, she could either date a guy that is interested in her as she is, or be comfortable with being single.”
The straightforward advice caused a big argument within the friendship group, cutting short their brunch and leaving Lola in tears.
“She got really upset and accused me of fat shaming her (even though I never said anything about losing weight–just going to the gym because she wants her partner to go to the gym),” OP added.
The friendship group found themselves split over the situation.
“One of my friends told me Lola is worthy and deserving of a great guy and doesn’t need to change herself,” the woman continued. “Others supported me and said what I said was right.”
The majority of the commenters sided with the OP in the comment section.
“You gave Lola honest, helpful advice when she asked for it. You didn’t fat shame her, just pointed out that people often date those with similar lifestyles. If she wants a fit, successful guy, she should work on those things herself,” one wrote.
“These are all superficial qualities. None of these traits says anything about his character. She doesn’t want a man, she wants an accessory,” another commented.
“Sure, she deserves an amazing guy, but the amazing guy is going to want an amazing woman as well. What is she bringing to the dating table,” a third added.
Some suggested that men who fulfill all the criteria Lola desires might not be available for dating.
“Regarding her demands in a man, I don’t think she realises how much of a time sink all of the interests are given she does nothing herself. Gym, playing an instrument for practice or fun and working long hours all take time,” someone wrote.
What are your views on this story? Let us know in the comment section.
Sources: Reddit
