It’s a very awkward topic – but it needs to be discussed. This is the modern age after all. And we have to stop being so uncomfortable with trying to break down established gender roles. These days, women aren’t typically just seen as homemakers and housewives.
Women aren’t just objects for procreation and family planning anymore. These days, women are making waves in various industries; women are making names for themselves. They are able to find success in male-dominated fields. And so it’s not just the man who is supposed to be bringing home the bacon anymore. Women can too. So is it really a big issue if a woman happens to be earning more than a man in a relationship? If it is, why is that so?
Is there really supposed to be a certain gender that should be raking in more cash for a relationship? Is a relationship possibly going to survive if the woman happens to be the breadwinner of the family? Is it okay to have this kind of financial imbalance in a relationship in general?
What kind of relationship environment will this kind financial dynamic end up cultivating? Well, we consulted one man and his experience with this matter and here is what he had to say about the issue.
You can’t build a relationship without taking into consideration the state of your shared finances. That’s just a common truth that all mature adults in relationships should understand by now. And based on the account of this middle-aged man, his underestimation of the role of finances in a relationship cost him his marriage and his family.
“I was in a happy marriage with my wife. We had only been married a few years at that time, but we were happy. We had a solid rhythm going on for us. But then suddenly, I lost my job. I didn’t think much of it at first. I had some money saved up. And my wife was still working at the time. And so I saw this as an opportunity to remap my career and recalibrate myself.
But then, out of the blue, she told me that I just wasn’t contributing much to the relationship anymore. She said that the savings that I had stashed away weren’t enough and that she needed a steady income from me if we were going to stay afloat and make things work as a couple. She really was raking in all the cash for the both of us at that point – and I didn’t realize just how toxic an effect that was having on our relationship. It just wasn’t healthy for either of us at that point.
I felt like I was losing her – like we were both growing apart. And eventually, I did lose her. She walked right out of the door and I haven’t seen her since. She didn’t even give me a real explanation why she left – but maybe she didn’t have to. Deep down, I already knew why. She felt like I wasn’t enough for her. She felt like she didn’t want to be in a relationship with a man who she couldn’t see as her equal.
She couldn’t be in a relationship with a man she couldn’t respect. And it all boiled down to that. She didn’t respect me just because I couldn’t bring in more money than her. And so she left me.”
” But then, out of the blue, she told me that I just wasn’t contributing much to the relationship anymore.”
Such a tricky situation, right? Now this is only one man’s account. And it can be difficult to generalize if it’s going to be like this for all couples with this kind of relationship dynamic. Of course, there are going to be some women who wouldn’t necessarily leave their men when caught in that kind of situation. Maybe some women would’ve stayed – some women would have been more patient and understanding.
Or maybe we don’t even know the whole story. Maybe he was really just serving as dead weight in the relationship. Maybe she was tired of having to pick up after him all of the time. Maybe she was getting burned out and she felt like she deserved a better kind of life; a better kind of love. And if that’s the case, you really can’t blame her.
Regardless of who was right and wrong in that situation, the point here is that we can’t downplay the significance of financial matters in relationships. Whenever we do get into a serious relationship with someone, we must always be willing to discuss our needs and expectations as far as finances are concerned.
It’s an uncomfortable talk to have, but it’s a necessary one. You don’t want to go into a relationship blindly when it comes to this issue. The people who say that money doesn’t matter in love are people who either don’t have money or who don’t know love.
