You deserve to feel safe.
Modern dating can be such a mess. It’s so sporadic and there are just so many moving pieces. It’s an emotional whirlwind and it’s so much more complicated than it has ever been since the dawn of relationships. Of course, that isn’t to say that love is a simple and easy feat because it definitely isn’t. In fact, it’s far from it. But love also doesn’t have to be as complicated and as complex as it is made out to be. At the end of the day, love is an innate and primal feeling that we all feel inherently. It shouldn’t be too hard to make sense of that feeling. There’s no need to over-complicate it.
In modern dating, when two people meet, it’s like a broken record. It’s like a trap that a lot of people still fall for every single time. Two people meet, and the expectation s are set at a minimum. Things seem to take forever before they progress, but the progression is there. It’s gradual and it’s intricate, but it’s there nonetheless. You start to grow a liking for someone, but you still try your best to stay guarded. You maintain a sense of emotional and spiritual distance because you know that that is the only way you can really protect yourself from getting severely hurt in the long run. And because of the frustratingly slow pace of things, the relationship ends before it even begins.
It’s a cycle that so many potential couples just fall victim to. They meet, they develop an interest in one another, and they put those feelings into actions. However, as the feelings intensify, the actions don’t necessarily progress in the same manner. And as a result, the feelings slowly diminish into nothing. You see someone cute, and you happen to meet by chance. You exchange phone numbers and you start texting one another. You interact with each other on social media. You go on a few dates. But then, neither of you ever really do anything substantial to take the relationship to the next level. You stay stagnant. You stay stuck. You never move forward. You don’t take a step towards anything and so your almost relationship slowly disintegrates into nonexistence. And the worst part is that it’s not something that catches you by surprise. You know everything that’s going to take place. It’s like a train-wreck that you’re watching in slow motion. You know that things aren’t going to end well, but you don’t do anything to try to stop it or salvage the situation. You take a passive approach to your almost relationship more like a spectator than an actual participant. You know that it’s all going to end in destruction but you let it happen nonetheless. And it hurts you. You expected the pain but you did nothing to absolve yourself of the situation. You knew how much it was going to hurt, but you didn’t act. And the weird thing is, the same exact situation has happened to you before. And at the back of your mind, you probably think that it’s going to happen again. And that’s the sad thing about dating in this modern world.
You are in dire need of some cold hard truth. You need to be slapped across the face with the truth just to get you back to your senses. You aren’t a mindless zombie who has to subject yourself to the natural cycles of the world without putting up a fight. You can take control of your situation. You know the signs. You know when you’re about to be sucked into a non-relationship with someone sucky; someone who doesn’t know how to commit to you. You know what a bad partner looks like because of your previous experiences. And you have to know that you don’t have to play as a willing participant to these pointless games anymore. They add no value to your life and you have to start demanding for more from the people that you’re with.
Remember that you really deserve to be with someone who doesn’t make you hesitant. You deserve to be with someone who doesn’t make you feel like you have to close yourself off. You deserve to be with someone you can be completely vulnerable with. Real love is a risk but it’s a risk that is never built on constant insecurity, uncertainty, and inconsistency. Love is exciting, but there is also a rhythm to it. It’s a steady and stable rhythm that you should be able to rely on. It’s a feeling of safety and security that you can always depend on. Love should never have the power to make you feel unworthy or expendable. Love gives you a sense of stability the kind of stability that you really deserve from the people you date.
So stop settling for the trap of modern dating. Be the outlier. Demand for the love that you deserve the one you can really rely on.
