Detachment isn’t easy. Moving on is so difficult. Letting go is quite a challenge. Getting over someone isn’t what it used to be. How are you expected to go about life when the best part of you has vanished? How do you just go on with being yourself when your better half has excluded themselves from the narrative? You get with someone who brings so much joy, happiness, meaning, and fulfillment into your life and they just end up leaving anyway. You still have so much live inside you to share, but you have no one to share it with. You are forced to sit, restless and unnerved. You have so much emotional energy that you want to expel but you don’t know where to put it. Your eyes start to water and your nose starts to run. You think about the memories and it hurts you even more to know that these memories will remain just that: memories that you can only reconstruct in your mind, but never in reality. You still cling to the hope that maybe these memories will manifest themselves in your life once more, but you know that it’s a long shot.
And when the gravity of the situation that you’re in really starts to hit you, you lose it. You let the rage take over your senses. You can’t seem to make sense of what’s happening to you; why something so bad could happen to you in this manner. You can’t seem to grasp just how a seemingly innocent person could walk into your life and leave the mark that they did only to have you feeling abandoned and let down in the end. You get so upset at the thought that they ever walked into your life in the first place. And then you get upset at yourself. You get mad at how you could just allow yourself to ever be put in a position of such vulnerability in the first place. You hate how you let yourself be so stupid so as to put your emotional stability in the hands of another person.
And when all the rage starts to die down a little bit, you come to the realization that you’re just in pain. You’re in pain because someone who once held the key to your heart as left you alone. You’re hurt that you feel abandoned and lonesome. You’re hurt that it feels like your whole world has ended and you can’t do anything to pick yourself up from this hole that you’ve found yourself in. You start to let go of all the bitterness and the resentment, but you still feel all of the pain the remnants of a broken heart are still there.
Naturally, you still cling to the hope that you can rekindle the flame that you’ve lost for one another. You still wish that you can go back to that place of happiness you once shared together. You have so many reasons for why the two of you should just get back together and you have to understand that that’s the reason why you really need to just try to get over them.
Try looking at it objectively. How much emotional trauma and damage has this person managed to wreak on your life? How much pain and suffering are you still willing to put yourself through for a relationship that is now long gone? How long have you been putting your life on hold for this broken romance? For this person who you’ve lost? Be honest with yourself and answer truthfully.
You know that it’s too much. You know that you deserve better. You need to treat yourself better. You need to start picking up the pieces again for the sake of your own life. You have to actually make the resolve to just have a better quality of life again. It all starts with you.
The one thing that you really have to understand is that while you’re crying yourself to sleep every night wishing for a life that you can never get back, this person is moving on. They are living their life the way that they want. They are pursuing happiness for themselves again without you and you really need to be doing the same. You need to stop killing yourself over something that you’ve lost. You need to stop putting your life on hold for someone who is trying to get their own life back together.
Yes, it’s unfortunate that you lost the love of your life. It’s sad that you let a valuable relationship slip from your grasp. But you shouldn’t have to let that cripple you from the rest of your life. You shouldn’t let that loss keep you from being happy. As human beings, we have to be able to rise from the ashes like a phoenix. You need to make the decision to just be happy again. Move on and let go.