If you’re still the type of guy who wants to be swiping through those dating apps and going out on weekends to meet girls all the time, then go ahead and do so. If you’re still the type of guy who goes out drinking with your boys as you look to party with random women all the time, then that’s fine. You get the right to be like that. If you’re still the type of guy who booty calls random girls on your phone; if you’re still the type of guy who wants to have random hookups with girls your exes or with girls that you’re only meeting for the first time, then go right ahead. It’s perfectly fine for you to play the field. It’s okay for you to wanting to keep your options open as far as your love life is concerned. But if you’re doing all these things while leading her on at the same time, then that’s when something is wrong. You shouldn’t be doing things that make her fall more and more in love with you if you are incapable of loving her in the same way. It’s unfair to her. It’s cruel. It’s mean. It’s despicable and she deserves to be treated better. You have to stop making her feel like there’s a chance for you to change who you are because of her. You have to stop making her think hat you’re eventually going to treat her the way that she deserve to be treated. Don’t give her any blind optimism. Don’t give her any false hopes. Stop making her think that you’re going to eventually fall in love with her even when you have no intentions of doing so.
If you feel like you’re not ready to be in a real and heavy relationship yet, then that’s fine. No one is pressuring you to commit to a single person for the rest of your life. You should only really be willing to settle down with someone when you feel like you’re ready to take on the responsibilities that come with being in a relationship. Otherwise, it would be better for you to just stay single and play the field a little bit. Experiment for a while and take this time to find out what you really want out of life and love. However, in your process of finding yourself, you can’t be stringing other people along for the ride. This is a journey that you have to go through on your own. This is a process that you have to tackle alone. And you have to make your intentions known to the people you interact with just so you don’t lead anyone on. That’s your responsibility. It’s part of being a mature and respectful man.
You don’t even get the right to tell her that you’re just not ready for a relationship “right now” because you are going to lead her to believe that you are going to eventually be ready for a relationship with her. You have to finish that thought process. You have to make it clear to her that you have no plans of settling down with anyone just yet – most especially her. You need to make her detach herself from you so that she doesn’t fall any further. Because we all know that you’re not going to be there to catch her when she does. You shouldn’t be saying that you want a relationship with her even though you hold her hand when you’re walking. You shouldn’t be saying that you can’t commit to her even though you call her late at night when you’re feeling lonely. You shouldn’t be saying that you’re not falling in love with her even when you brag to your friends about you. You keep sending her mixed signals – and as a result, she is only going to end up seeing what she wants to see; not what she needs to see. You can’t keep misleading her like that. You can’t be absolving yourself of that responsibility. You don’t get to wash your hands clean by telling her that you don’t want anything serious even though you’re practically acting like her boyfriend every chance that you get.
You’re simulating a relationship without really assuming any of the responsibility. You’re telling her that you don’t want anything serious so that when the time comes that you get bored of her, you can just leave her guiltlessly. But you should feel guilty. You should feel bad. Because a girl loves with her heart, not with her eyes and ears. And even though you’re telling her that you can’t love her, she’s still going to believe that you do if you don’t stop leading her on like that. So stop it. Stop making her fall in love with you especially when you know that you can’t love her in the way that she deserves to be loved.
