10 Things I Learned When My 10 Year Relationship Came To An End

Ten years, a lot of lessons.

1. Guys are still going to come up to you and flirt with you.

Just because your past relationship failed doesn’t mean that you won’t have the opportunities for a relationship in the future. The prospect of love is always going to be there. There are so many people on this earth who are looking for love, and you don’t have to feel alone in this. Love will come your way. What’s important is that you always maintain a healthy perspective and outlook on things as you go along.

2. You can actually survive living life on your own.

Life doesn’t end when you become single. There is a whole life ahead of you that is just waiting to be lived. Yes, even though you had been in a relationship for so long doesn’t mean that you are virtually incapable of living life as a single person. You still have the capacity that is needed to actually survive on this earth. You are more than capable of taking care of your own self.

3. Loneliness is not something to be feared or to be ashamed of.

We all get lonely every once in a while. It doesn’t even matter whether we are in a relationship or not. Loneliness can strike anyone, anywhere, at any moment. That’s why you shouldn’t be afraid of it when you’re single. If you feel particularly vulnerable about being alone, then just allow yourself to be human and let that vulnerability crash over you like a wave. You will emerge from the ordeal much stronger and more at peace with yourself. 

4. You have definitely been on the receiving end of love before.

You were once loved by someone, and that’s no small feat. That’s not something that you can just sweep under the rug. It’s always a big deal whenever you get to experience love the way that it should be experienced. Sure, it may not have been the perfect kind of love; the kind that lasts forever. But it’s still the kind of love that’s real despite its flaws. And that’s always a love that you can be proud of.

5. The world won’t think less of you for being single.

Nobody cares that you’re single. People won’t think any less of you now that you’re no longer in a relationship. Society is just dealing with too many problems at the moment to concern itself with your relationship status. You don’t have to worry about people treating you differently just because you’re single. Remember that you’re still you and a relationship doesn’t define who you are as a person.

6. You discover so much more about yourself now that you’re single.

When you emerge into the single life after having been in a long term relationship with someone, you are thrust into unfamiliar territory. With this unfamiliar territory, you will be forced to discover new things about yourself. There will be facets of your personality that will come out despite you not knowing that you had them in you all along.

7. There are no limits to how much you can dream.

Dream as big and as grand as you want. When you’re in a relationship with someone, you tend to be more pragmatic with how you go about your dreams and aspirations. You try to tailor your dreams in a way that they don’t conflict with your partners. You always try to craft your dreams in a way that further promotes the goals of the relationship. But now, there are absolutely no limits as to how much you want to dream. The world is yours and you can do whatever you want to do with it.   

8. You must maintain openness even though you’ve been hurt.

Yes, you were open in the past. And as a result, you ended up getting hurt. You opened yourself up to pain by allowing yourself to be vulnerable. You let another person into your life and things didn’t turn out the way that you wanted them to. However, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t open yourself up to anyone else for as long as you live. A bad experience in the past shouldn’t be enough to deter you from opening yourself up to other people in the future. You don’t want to close yourself off from love just because you’ve been hurt before. You can’t let fear rule your life.

9. Simple pleasures are great but meaningful endeavors will help heal you.

You can find solace by indulging in your guilty pleasures. You can try to cheer yourself up by immersing yourself in food, art, or culture. But the best way to heal your wounds is to actually just dive into the things that you’re most passionate about. Let your passions rule your life and find meaning in the things that mean the most to you.

10. The prospect of tomorrow seems so much brighter.

Even though the present doesn’t seem so appealing; even though your current state seems a little bleak, the future looks brighter than it ever has been.

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