You’re interested in a shy guy and having a hard time understanding him and coping with his shyness. Remember, shyness is a defense mechanism; it’s not an unnatural thing or a flaw. You just need to know the right way of getting to know them better and getting them out of their shell.
Here are a few tips which might help when you’re dating a shy guy.
11. Don’t take his shyness personally
The first step is to understand that being shy and reserved is a part of his nature and has nothing to do with what he feels towards you. Do not think of it as arrogance; these people take time to warm up to people and feel comfortable enough with someone to be themselves around them. So don’t get offended if he refuses to be chatty at all times.
10. Start with casual hangouts
These guys tend to be generally nervous, add this to the idea of dating a woman and it becomes worse. The best way to counteract this is by casually hanging out with them as friends, once they have the pressure of being on a date of their mind they might just put their guard down and be a bit open and friendly.
9. Take the lead
Be a bit more confident than usual, remember they’re already shy and might feel nervous in calling you up and setting up a date. So at least in the initial stages of the relationship, you’ll have to give them the confidence, go for a movie for example, where you spend time together despite talking less and then when they’re a bit warmer towards you can progress towards arranging dinner dates, parties, etc.
8. Take help from technology
Most people are more expressive behind the screen; in this era of social networks and texting, it shouldn’t be hard to get to know them through written conversations, especially at the beginning. They might be less talkative in person, but knowing them via IMs is easier.. they’ll feel more comfortable in sharing their likes, dislikes, family, friends, etc. So let the fingers do the talking.
7. Don’t pressurize him
Patience is the key here, rushing him into being open about everything will only make them edgier than they already are, and they’ll find you intimidating. I know it can be frustrating at times, but these guys are worth it, just let him ease into it with time.
6. Be encouraging
Compliments, guys like them too. Compliment his dressing or his smile or anything, praise him for every little effort he is making. When he’s talking, make eye contact with him, looking here and there or using your cell phone will only make them feel unimportant, and they’ll decide just to stop. Always show interest.
5. Be the conversationalist
Don’t be afraid to take the lead during a conversation, initiate conversation. It might sound tough as a girl, but it will help develop comfort. Talk about yourself, your friends, family, pets, reveal things to him, which not many people know; this will show him that you can be trusted. Once he gets to know you, he’ll automatically be more open about himself, too, and you can start by asking him the right questions without making it look like an interrogation.
Do most of the talking but don’t be too overwhelming, ask questions and listen carefully to what he has to say without cutting him off.
4. Actions speak louder than words
This sounds like a cliche, but it is extremely true, especially in the case of introverts. Shy guys might not tell you straight away how they feel about you, but their behavior will speak for them. Is he making continuous eye contact, is he laughing at your jokes or does he look bored and is checking out other women. Pay attention to his body language.
3. Respect his privacy
After they feel relaxed around you, they’ll start confiding in you and be more open about themselves, what you need to remember here is that it took a lot of courage to be that comfortable with someone so whatever he shares with you is for your ears only. You might be tempted to share a few small, harmless things with your best friend but it isn’t a good idea when they learn that you have been sharing things with others, no matter how small they are, they’ll feel their trust has been violated, and their guard will be back up! So keep things to yourself.
2. Remember things
This becomes easy if you’re paying close attention to everything he tells you. Remember the details, if not everything, at least try to remember most of it. Name of his university, his mom’s name, number of siblings, his favorite color, birthdays, etc. This will help when you bring up the relevant details during a conversation. They’ll be happy that they are being heard, that they hold your interest and in turn, they’ll be more attracted to you. It will strengthen the bond between you two, and the relationship will progress in the right direction.
1. Be careful with whom you introduce him to
Once you guys start building your relationship, you might be eager to introduce him to your friends and family. This step is crucial, be careful with who you expose him to. Friends who are loud and more likely to crack crazy jokes should be kept for the last; people who’ll make him feel welcome should be your priority. Make him feel like he’s a part of your family, tell your folks beforehand that your guy is shy and not to be too hard on him.