There are levels of things we tolerate in a relationship
3. This-I can-only-let- go-one-time
and the last one
We often confuse all of them which ends up in either making your partner suffer but mostly making yourself suffer!В So here are a few lines you need to draw or may I say, few things you need to say HELL-NO to!
A one time thing could be a mistake in some cases, to be honest, I don’t think cheating can ever be a mistake. Cheating is like the Mother of all the little problems that will soon start budding in your relationship.В Someone who cheats one time has the potential to do it again and this time they will be better at hiding the tracks. When someone cheats on you, this simple act says volumes about how they feel about you or about this relationship. Take it seriously.
A person who cheats does not respect the honesty of your relationship or obviously wants more out of it, so desperately that they would go ahead and find other ways to get it.
Secondly, once your trust breaks it does not recover completely. You will unconsciously doubt your partner and it will leave you in a torturing position.
2. PARTNER WHO BLAMES YOU FOR THINGS THAT GO WRONG IN THEIR LIVES
Anything that happens in their life is a consequence of a CHOICE THEY make. Don’t let yourself feel otherwise. At times people, good people, perfectly normal people, have a hard time accepting their own shortcomings. Such people need some to take their blame for them. They like to believe that everything they do is perfect only if YOU could have done it a little differently.В My God! Writing this just gave me a really bad flashback.В I have had really turbulent relationship during my early 20’s. It’s the time where you think you are all wise and have the maturity to see things through. I was like that as well till a guy clearly showed me I wasn’t.
Every time something bad happened in his life, I was the one to be blamed for it. The reasons were so ridiculous at times, I’d be surprised at my own self for putting up with that.В Once, while talking to me on the phone, on the loudspeaker, he accidentally shaved off a bit of, one of his, side burns. He didn’t talk to me for the next two days just because I was on the call. A call that he made. A call that even if I would have dared to miss, my life would be hell.В So now you know, I have learned these HELL-NOs’ after a fairly long experience.
There are various kinds of abusive relationships, known of them is worth putting up with.В I repeat, NONE OF THEM, No one deserves to be tortured or pushed around not even you.В I have seen so many people thinking that their abusive partner will get better with time. Nothing gets better, it only becomes worse.
Whether it’s them telling you to leave your friends and family for them or constantly belittling you. Whether it’s them verbally abusing you or physically. It’s just not happening.В DRAW THE LINE!В A person who verbally abuses you will start emotionally abusing you and before you know it, they will start hitting you.В Unlike to the popular believe, men are also subjected to physical abuse. Throwing things at you is infact violence and it needs to stop.
Doing my tri-majors, one of them being Journalism, I had a chance to meet a lot of families and people who were subjected to physical violence. Most of them said they thought it would stop.В That’s the thing, it never does. It’s not like I want to snatch away the hope you have. It’s good to have hope, but always be realistically hopeful.В Don’t put your health or safety in jeopardy for the sake of love and, believe me, if you are being abused and thinking like that, you are the ONLY ONE in love.
1. A person who loves you can never torture you.
2. A person obsessed to you, Can
3. A person addicted to you, Can
4. A person being benefited by you, Can
5. A person in LOVE with you, Cant!
Stay hooked for the last three HELL-NOs!
Talk to me
Have you had one of these experiences? Share your experiences in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!