You can’t be so naïve so as to believe everything that you see in the movies or read about in books. Even though media always manages to portray sex to be this constantly amazing, exhilarating, and effortlessly pleasurable experience, it’s not always the case. A lot of the time, sex can be very awkward, dull, disappointing, and unfulfilling. There are so many variables that go into determining whether sex is pleasurable or not. And it’s more than just actually meeting someone you’re physically attracted to. There are so many factors involved and a bulk of it really boils down to chemistry and familiarity.

There’s no point in having a super attractive sexual partner who doesn’t know how to please you. You always want to be with someone who is able to communicate with you about your sexual preferences. The better you are able to get to know one another, the more pleasurable your sexual experience is going to be. Good sex isn’t always going to come as naturally and as organically into people’s lives as one might think. It takes a lot of practice and familiarity to really build a strong sense of sexual chemistry with another person.

And no matter how much you might want to make love to someone, you aren’t always guaranteed to have a good time. It all really depends on the kind of rapport and synergy that you have with one another as lovers. You have to be able to make sure that you are both a good physical and emotional fit for one another. And if you’re curious to figure out the common problems that might be holding you back from good sex, then you’ve definitely come to the right place.

You are always going to want to have good sex in your relationship. And that all starts with acknowledging your imperfections. Own up to your sexual problems and figure out a way to solve them. And if you need help with both of those things, the just continue to read on:

1. It’s not working because you have very bad and poor communication habits.

A lot of people are going to make the mistake of just thinking that they immediately KNOW what the other person is going to like. This is especially a common mistake that a lot of sexually experienced people are going to have. Here’s something that you have to remember: just because you did something that pleased someone in the past doesn’t mean that it’s going to please everyone in the future.

We all have very unique and specific sexual preferences. It’s important that you and your partner are always on the same page when it comes to what you want and expects out of sex. It can be very awkward to have that conversation at first. But it’s only going to make your sex life even stronger in the end. You just have to trust one another. Communication is the one thing that practically fixes most problems in any kind of relationship. And so, it should be no wonder that it’s very important for your sex life as well.

2. It’s not working because the two of you are always doing the wrong positions.

Sometimes, you can have certain misunderstandings and misinterpretations when it comes to your body signals. Sometimes, one partner can lack some substantial skill or passion which could lead to a substantial performance in sex. Just because you see an interesting position in some porno or your friends might have told you about a particular position that they’ve enjoyed doesn’t mean that it’s going to work for you and your partner as well.

There is no “one-size-fits-all” kind of sexual position. You always have to do what works for you as a couple. You can’t be assuming that you are going to be able to find joy in every single position with every single partner every single time. When that’s the case, if the position doesn’t typically suit your body types, you can just change your position. You can’t change what your body is like, but you can change how you use it.

3. It’s not working because you still need time to learn more about your body.

Everyone’s sexual organs are going to vary in size, length, and other such physical attributes. You must both take some time to explore each other’s bodies. You have to be able to take some time to get to know each other’s bodies before you are able to really pleasure one another to the maximal level.

4. It’s not working because you think that change doesn’t factor into the equation.

You have to know that sexual preferences and body parts can change over time. So never be afraid to shake things up in your relationship. You have to learn and grow as you go along. You can’t be so content with just sticking to the same moves over and over again.