It can always be hard to move on from a failed relationship. It’s especially difficult if you genuinely believed that the relationship you were in was the one that you were always meant to be in. You might not have come to terms with the fact that you’ve just let the love of your life slip away. A lot of times, instead of just confronting the sad truth of the situation, we just shove it all away in the hopes that we eventually wake from this nightmare.
This is what we call the stage of “denial” that people tend to go through after a terrible breakup – most especially if it’s a breakup that they never wanted in the first place. Naturally, you might think that you’re doing yourself a favor by sweeping all of these feelings under the rug. You might think that you are saving yourself from a lot of unnecessary pain. However, what you’re really doing is just as bad as allowing yourself to feel that pain. You’re just prolonging the inevitable. You’re keeping everything bottled up inside and it’s all going to lead to an emotional explosion that you might not be ready for. You are only prolonging the agony and suffering that you’re feeling in this moment. You just need to get real about the fact that you’re in denial. And that’s the only way you are ever going to be able to move on and find closure with this situation.
It would be really convenient for you to try to get over a heartbreak but it’s a lot easier said than done. The first step is always going to be the most difficult. You really have to come to terms with the fact that you have broken up and that your relationship has ended. In order for you to heal from your breakup, you really have to learn to let go first. You need to be able to come to terms with reality – you have to come to terms with whether you’ve still got a chance to rekindle the flame with your ex or if you’ve just got to move on. You need to acknowledge whether you’re in denial about the state of your relationship or not. And that’s where this article comes in. If you notice that a lot of the signs listed in this article actually apply to you, then it’s likely that you are still in denial about the end of your relationship.
1. You’re still trying to push your ex into getting back together with you.
You are still trying to convince your ex that it’s a good idea for you to get back together even when they clearly don’t want to.
2. You don’t really take up new opportunities to date new people.
You turn away opportunities to date new people because you still try to make yourself available for your ex.
3. You only ever really think about the positive aspects of your relationship.
You blind yourself to all the flawed aspects of your relationship. You only ever really think about the happy parts – the parts that you miss.
4. You put on all the moves to try to make your ex jealous.
You make it seem like you’re moving on but you only do so to make your ex jealous. None of it is really for you.
5. You don’t’ acknowledge your ex’s new flame.
When your ex starts dating again, you don’t really acknowledge it. You are blinded from the truth because of your own disbelief.
HOW TO MOVE ON
Well, the first actual step to moving on is to get out of your state of denial. You must recognize that you are in denial and you need to be able to get over that hump. You need to be able to get out of that fantasy land that you have formed for yourself and you need to come face to face with reality. You have been able to see the relationship for what it really is. In order to begin that process, you need to be able to list down all of the things that went wrong in the relationship. You can’t move on from your failed relationship if you only ever think about the good times. You need to be able to look at all the flawed parts of it as well. And this is going to be helpful because it helps paint a clearer picture of what the relationship was really like; how everything was far from perfect. And once you are done with that, you can then proceed to go and focus on yourself. Do things that add life and vitality to your heart. Do things that give you a sense of meaning and fulfillment. Do more things that make you happy.
And then, when you’re totally caught up on just living a life for yourself, the memory of your ex is going to slowly fade away. You’re going to gradually let go of your relationship and you’re going to embrace this new life.
