Sometimes, it’s never meant to be.
It’s likely that most women in their 20s who have active dating lives have already encountered a guy like this: someone who is virtually incapable of getting into and sustaining a real loving relationship with a fellow adult. Of course, not all women will run the moment that they see that they’re dating someone who just isn’t ready for a relationship yet. There is always room for growth. There is always hope for change and development.
And so you might try to convince yourself that it’s worth trying to stick things out. Maybe things are going to get better. You never want to throw away an opportunity to be a part of someone’s growth in a relationship with you. Sure, they might not be in love with you at the moment, but that shouldn’t be taken to mean that they’re never going to fall in love with you in the future, right? You should still cling to that hope, right?
A lot of these expectations are brought about because of our exposure to various media. It’s shoved down our throats all too often; in books, movies, television shows, and sometimes, in real life. We see the romantic narrative over and over again. We are often led to believe just how amazing of a story it would be to watch someone grow rom a person who is scared of love to a person who suddenly becomes a true master of romance. And it’s an amazing kind of growth that is borderline magical. So a lot of real-life people look at these fictional narratives and they think that it’s possible for themselves as well.
However, it’s important for you to keep in mind that it’s very rare for fiction and reality to ever play out in the same manner. The reality of the situation rarely ever reflects what you have in your expectations. And that’s just a sad but very real aspect of life that we have to grow to accept. The “bad” or “damaged” boy isn’t always going to be able to clean up his act for you.
Sometimes, you aren’t always going to be able to help fix him and turn him into the man that he needs to be for you. And when that happens, you just have to walk away or else you risk dragging your own self down. You have to be able to accurately tell if a guy has the genuine potential to have real feelings for you or if you’re just wasting your time with him.
But what signs should you exactly be in the lookout for? How are you able to tell if a guy has genuine potential to grow into the man that you need him to be? How do you know if he genuinely has the potential to fall in love with you? Well, relationship coaches and experts have revealed the secrets of the trade and here are their findings. These are some very real signs that you’re just wasting your time with the guy that you’re with; and you should probably just break things off and move on to someone who actually has the potential to fall in love with you.
1. They tell you that they’re not really looking for anything serious.
They don’t want anything serious because they know that they’re not ready for it. Appreciate that honesty and don’t force them into things.
2. You notice that they don’t really love themselves as individuals.
If they fail to love themselves, you can’t expect them to be ready to fall in love with you as well. It’s highly unlikely for people who don’t love themselves to fall in love with other people.
3. You know that they can’t really take care of themselves.
One important aspect of being in a mature relationship is independence. You can’t be with someone who doesn’t know how to take care of himself because you are going to be exhausted trying to carry him through life.
4. You have a very mediocre sex life.
Your physical chemistry is a very important aspect of your relationship. It’s a great manifestation of the emotional connection that you have as a couple. So if you have a mediocre sex life, perhaps the chemistry is just always going to be off with you.
5. They don’t really have any real commitments in other aspects of life.
The fact that they find themselves to really commit to anything that they’re passionate about in other aspects of life should be a really big red flag for you. Their lack of passion for anything is a sign that perhaps they really don’t know how to channel their feelings into something concrete and productive.
6. They don’t really try to understand your personal needs.
They are selfish and they haven’t really grown to the point where they are mature enough to be mindful of the needs of other people. To be in a relationship, you always need healthy doses of selflessness.
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