It’s in our nature to disagree, more than we agree on things. Every individual is different, every person has their point of view on life and how to live it, and when two people get into a relationship, they start sharing an experience, and that’s when the fights slowly begin to happen. It’s perfectly normal to fight your significant other, but the arguments should not get out of hand and should be controlled by one of the two.
The point of this article is to prepare you guys for the negativities that come with every relationship, and I’ll try my best to teach you how to deal with those negativities.
Here are 7 common fights in relationships.
7. Fights about money
“Money” is one of the strongest evils of the world, we all need it, some of us have a lot of it, some of us don’t have enough to lead a healthy life, some of us have more than enough, but we still want more. Every person is different in this aspect, and money is something that can cause a lot of damage to any relationship if it’s not properly dealt with.
My ex, for example, always expected me to spend on her even when I didn’t have enough, this made me feel bad about myself and significantly lowered my self-esteem and made me apply for small-time jobs to make her needs met. We broke up eventually.
I’ve seen even the richest of friends go poor over one stupid decision. The girl I’m with now, who I mentioned in my previous article – “10 Ways to make her happy“, is a fantastic person. She knows I spend a lot on myself, and here, she keeps asking me to lower my expenses and to save more for our future.
It’s not unhealthy to sit and talk about money if it’s going in a positive direction, try and understand what your partner means, try to grasp where they are coming from. Don’t shun the idea of saving. Don’t talk about money more than you need to.
6. Fights about In-laws
It is bound to happen at one point. When you find your significant other, you need to be prepared to be okay with their family. The fights happen because you naturally can’t love their family like you, no matter how hard you try, but you still have to keep trying.
You can’t be happy with your partner if you don’t respect their family because your partner expects that from you, and they understand that you don’t see eye to eye with them, but they will still love you for smiling at the awkward dinners and just being careful around them.
My in-laws are a blessing on me because they didn’t make things difficult for me, but I’ve known a few friends who’ve had significant fights over this point. A friend of mine chose to stay quiet in front of his in-laws because he didn’t like them, I told him that’s not the way, but he didn’t listen.
They eventually got into an argument. You have to be very selfless here, look at it through your partner’s eyes, and you’ll get it.
5. Fights caused by jealousy
The insecurities caused by jealousy can be fatal for a relationship. We often get jealous of our partners, but it’s okay as long as it’s the sweet sort of envy.
My girlfriend knows her limits with her friends, and she knows I’ll never bound her from anything, so she doesn’t give me a reason to be jealous of anything. One easy way to deal with jealousy is to get a secure grip over your insecurities and to end them. If you’re insecure about yourself, you’ll always be anxious about your relationship, which causes jealousy to appear in the mix in a way it really shouldn’t.
4. Fights about “Nothing”
This might seem funny to most people in new relationships, but people who’ve been together for a couple of years know what I’m talking about. Fights over “nothing” are very common in couples who know and love each other for too long.
These fights are so trivial that both sides have no idea how the fight started in the first place. These fights are caused by other tensions that are left unsolved in the past, these little tensions slowly develop into a conflict that leads nowhere, and the couple starts being reasonable with each other after a while.
To avoid such fights, make sure you speak your heart out with each other all the time. Don’t think that you shouldn’t tell them something if it’s bothering you just because it would lead to an argument, have that argument to save yourselves from a more significant discussion later. Speak your mind, be free.
3. Fights over bad habits
I used to smoke cigarettes and a lot of them per day. My ex didn’t mind because she used to smoke. But my girlfriend now, the amazing woman that she is doesn’t smoke or do anything of the sort. She told me to stop smoking, not because she didn’t like it, but because she wanted me to be a healthier person.
I didn’t have any second thoughts. So we didn’t fight over my bad habit. Fights over bad habits occur when your partner wants you to refrain from something but give little or no reason or justification for it.
They need to understand that they need to tell you “why” your bad habit is “bad” for you, just saying something like “stop it because I don’t like it” isn’t a strong enough way to make you leave something. Leaving a bad habit is an arduous process, and having an open-minded partner helps by a mile.
2. Fighting because of friends
Ah, friends, they’re essential, aren’t they? We all have a very close group of friends who we call our best friends, we listen to them, we help them out, we love them for who they are, we want to spend more and more time with them, but friends are also often the reason for couples to fight.
I’ve noticed this more with girls than with guys because I have a personal example of this. My guy friends are all freezing with my girlfriend, they like her, and they hang out with us without asking me to “make her stay out of our guy time.” But one beautiful day, my girlfriend was pretty upset, because one of her girls told her some very mean lies about me, she didn’t believe what she said, but she was just upset over the fact that one of her close friends isn’t okay with me.
I tried my best to make her friend like me, but I’m not required to so I stopped after a while, a while later my girlfriend discovered that her “close friend” wanted to make her hate me because she was, and I quote, “too tired of seeing us so happy.”
Yeah, I know it sounds pretty psychotic, but it happened. So naturally, my girlfriend stopped talking to her to avoid any more of said issues. Try not to let your friends get too involved in your relationship, don’t let them judge you for your decisions (real friends never do, anyway) it is bound to cause a lot of problems later.
1. Fights over the past
Some people have a harder time letting go of the past than others. Some people linger on to it and want to keep something to themselves for leverage, it shouldn’t be like that because it’s not healthy, but that’s how it is.
If your significant other musters up the courage and strength to tell you everything about their past, even their most embarrassing of mistakes, please don’t use those things against them in the past. Accept them completely for who they were, and for who they are, do NOT linger on to the past.
That about does it for the most common reasons why couples fight if you have something to add, please comment below and let me know. I hope you’ve enjoyed this article and liked reading about my experiences. As always, I only do this because I love you guys and don’t want any of you to be unhappy with your partners. Stay happy and keep the love alive!