You need time to heal.
The hardest part of any relationship is the breakup when months and years of struggle have to come to a close; it hurts more than anything. Sometimes, breakups are one-sided, sometimes they’re mutual, but both of them almost hurt the same.
A lot of people, myself included, find it nearly impossible to heal after a breakup completely. But I’ve learned my lessons, and I have a lot to share about what it takes to heal yourself after a breakup properly.
These are the seven things you need to do to heal after a breakup.
7. Cease all communication with your ex
I can’t stress this point enough; this is the first very vital step and your foundation to move on from the past and have a better future without any haunting memories or relapses. Stop all ways of communication with your ex, don’t text them if you suddenly start missing them, fight your urge to talk to them.
If you have to, think of all of the wrong things, think of why you broke up, do whatever you can to stop yourself from contacting them. This can be a little more difficult for some people if they have a lot of mutual friends, but even that isn’t impossible because I’ve done this myself.
Once you contact them, it doesn’t matter if you guys want to be friends or not, your feelings will slowly but surely start getting rekindled, and one of you is going to get hurt again. If seeing their face makes you sad, remove them from your social profiles, delete their photos; if you have to move on, you need to move on properly.
Don’t say you want to move on if you know you won’t, make up your mind, and do it if you see it fit, but if you decide to do it, you need to do it properly.
6. Focus on yourself more
When someone goes through a breakup, they slowly start losing touch with themselves and start neglecting themselves, don’t be that person. Breakups happen, they’re a part of life, they’re a life lesson for you always to remember and not make the same mistakes again in your life.
So they’re bound to happen, I’ve seen happily married couples who’d been together for more than twenty years instantly break apart and start new lives without each other, it’s okay because you’re not alone so don’t forget yourself in the process.
Pay more attention to yourself, look at yourself in the mirror, and say, “I’m awesome.” Remember why you love yourself, enhance your abilities, work hard on yourself, maybe go to the gym because working out is one of the best things you can do to yourself, no matter how healthy you are. You’re talented, don’t forget that, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
5. Let it all out
When you go through a breakup, it’s very vital to let all of the emotions out. Don’t keep anything in, or it will grow more than you can imagine, and you’ll end up exploding with emotions one day, so let it all out. If you have to cry, cry your heart out, if you have to reminisce, reminisce and let it go, if you need to scream, scream your lungs out, make sure you give all of the emotions out and don’t let anything in.
Your friends and family play a vital role here; they’re there when you need someone to talk to, talk to them about how you feel because we all need someone to talk to you when we are hurting. Also, remember that it’s done, the good memories will always be good memories, and the bad memories will always be wrong.
4. Accept the fact that it’s over
A couple of days into the breakup, you’ll sometimes feel as if it’s not over, as if things are just wrong, and it’ll get better soon, don’t make yourself think like that. Slowly but surely, learn to accept the fact that it’s over and for good reasons too, don’t give yourself false hope and don’t start living a lie.
Acceptance is one of the hardest things to achieve after a breakup, but it needs to be done sooner than later. Remember why it ended, if they left you for someone else, you need to accept the fact that you got cheated on because there are bad people in this world and you deserve someone who can cherish you. If it was a mutual breakup (which is very rare), accept the fact that it was for the better of both of you, and it was done to avoid future traumas.
3. Live your life
This is a continuation of not forgetting yourself and paying more attention to yourself. After breaking up with someone, it’s essential to not fall too deep into the limbo of sorrow and sadness; it’s necessary to let the emotions out and then start living your life again. Go out with your friends, be more social, spend time with family, do projects, and spend time doing the things you love.
The key here is to stay active and get stronger with time, so don’t wait too long before you restart your life because you’ll be damaging yourself in the process if you delay it a lot. Stop thinking about what your ex will do or is doing, pay attention to yourself and the people you have, and keep enhancing your life.
2. Spend time at the gym
This is from personal experience, and a lot of my friends have done this too, working out after a breakup is one of the best workouts you’ll experience. You have so much energy and frustration to let go of, and nothing could be better than you spend that energy on yourself.
You’ll be more motivated because you’ll want to get back to normal and also be a better and healthier person while you’re at it.
I went to the gym for three months straight after my ex cheated on me because I wanted to look better and to live better, that was one of the best things I could do to myself because I was happier in the end. When you work out, your body releases a lot of hormones that make you happy, so do it, hit the gym!
1. Look ahead
You broke up; it’s over; there’s no point in rekindling that fire because it’ll be a failed relationship again, look forward and look towards the future.
Your ex is your ex for a reason, and it needs to stay that way, in the past, your ex shouldn’t have anything to do with your future, they shouldn’t be a part of your future in any way because you won’t be able to be completely happy with them being in it, we always end up resenting people in the end because we are all human. We aren’t perfect, and even the best of us can fail at it.
Look for someone more compatible, remember the reasons why you broke up and make sure the next person you date doesn’t have anything similar to your ex. It’s your life, and only you have the power to take it forward, don’t stay in the past because you’ll find nothing but regret there.
Question of the day
How hard was it for you to move on and heal after a breakup? Leave your answers in the comments below. As always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!