When I find my soulmate
Want to know if you and your partner actually have what it takes to make your relationship last? Then you have to be able to take a long and honest look at yourselves in the mirror. More than anything else, you want to ask if your partner is your soulmate. You want to know if you and your partner are actually compatible enough to sustain a healthy relationship that is going to have its fair share of trials and tribulations. You want to make sure that you and your partner are going to be on the same page moving forward in your relationship. There are plenty of factors that go into making a relationship work but compatibility is definitely one of the most important. Even if you and your partner love one another with all of your hearts; that alone is never going to be enough to sustain your romance. Sometimes, not even all the effort in the world is going to be enough to overcome the difficulties and challenges that come attached with relationships. A lot of it really boils down to compatibility between the two of you. And compatibility is your capacity to actually merge beliefs, plans, and personalities to minimize friction in your relationship. You aren’t expected to agree on absolutely every single thing. But the more things that you agree on as a couple, the higher the chances that you’re actually going to make things work for the both of you.
You can still have healthy disagreements every now and then. But part of being compatible is also being able to meet each other halfway. When you find yourselves engaging in a tug of war, you need to be able to compromise and meet each other in the middle. And your ability to come to swift resolutions to your conflicts speaks volumes of your compatibility as a couple. In fact, when you disagree with one another, you are essentially learning more about each other as you grow in your relationship together. Conflict is inevitable. But it can always be managed.
However, there are some non-negotiables. There are some aspects of your personalities wherein you both really have to be on the same page. You can’t afford to have significantly contrasting views on these things if you’re really looking to stay together forever:
1. Your core values and principles as human beings.
You need to have similar values and principles in life if you really want things to last. At first, if you have fundamentally different principles, then you might think that you can just ignore your differences and you can try your hands at making things work. But eventually, at the root of it all, your principles are really all that you have to stand on. And when you can’t agree on your values and principles, you might as well be standing on different islands separated by a vast ocean.
2. Your conduct in handling arguments and disagreements.
You are going to have your share of arguments and disagreements. Conflict is inevitable, as previously mentioned. But it’s how you manage this conflict that will define you as a couple. If you are able to take your fights and your conflicts, and you can be constructive with them, you won’t have much to worry about.
3. Your choice of place to live in the future.
You don’t want to be talking about marriage and spending your life together without first establishing where you’re going to live as a couple in the future. If you can’t agree on living arrangements, how are you ever going to make things work?
4. Your plans for your future family.
Again, you don’t want to be emotionally invested in one another if you don’t share similar views on family planning? Do you both want to get married? Do you both want to have kids? If so, how many kids?
5. Your financial habits.
Money matters in a long-term relationship. Anyone who says otherwise is being naГЇve and immature. You and your partner have to be able to see eye to eye on your spending and saving habits. Otherwise, you might end up fighting a lot over how you manage your finances.
6. Your time management and scheduling.
You are both going to have to dedicate substantial time to one another if you want your relationship to work in the long-term. But if you can’t agree on how you’re going to manage and schedule your time, then that’s a serious issue.
7. Your standards for respect for one another.
You both need to talk about what you see as respectful behavior. Of course, in any relationship, respect is always going to be a necessity to promote healthy dynamics. However, respect can also mean different things to different people. And if both of you can’t see eye to eye on your standards for respect, then you probably won’t be able to make things last.
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