Don’t be with them for all the wrong reasons.
Beware. Just because you are in a relationship with someone doesn’t automatically mean that your intentions and expectations are going to be noble. Perhaps you might think that everything that you’re doing in your relationship is purely motivated by love, but you have to know that that isn’t always going to be the case. There are just countless instances of people who get into relationships for all the wrong reasons. And these relationships are always going to be destined to fail. There is no way a couple will be able to sustain a relationship that is fueled by impure motivations.
You have to understand that you may not even realize that you are staying in a relationship for the wrong reasons. That’s why it’s very important for you to always reflect on the state of your relationship. You should always be willing to look inside your heart and come to terms with the truth. You have to be able to know what your motivations are in this relationship.
You have to know what your expectations of your partner are going to be. You have to be able to be certain that your relationship is built on a strong and solid foundation of noble causes. Otherwise, you both better quit while you’re ahead. Because if you keep prolonging the inevitable, you are only going to be bringing in more pain for yourself.
To put things simply, when you find yourself in a relationship wherein your heart isn’t in the right place, then you are going to get bored, tired, and irritated with the relationship eventually. It’s just a matter of time. If you persist in staying in a relationship for all the reasons that don’t involve real love, mutual companionship, passion, and intimacy, then you are doing it wrong.
So what exactly are the wrong reasons for a person to stay in a relationship? Let us try to count the ways.
1. Financial security or stability.
NEVER LET MONEY RULE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. Are you some kind of gold digger? Is that the only reason you want to be in a relationship with someone? Get a job and earn your own dimes. Don’t treat your partner as some sort of milking cow.
2. Fear of loneliness or solitude.
Your fear of being alone shouldn’t be what motivates you to be in a relationship with a person. You should only be in a relationship with someone because you love that person and you want to spend as much time together as possible. Your desire to be together shouldn’t be driven by your fear of solitude.
3. The length of a relationship.
Just because you’ve been together for the longest time doesn’t mean you might as well settle for staying together forever. If everything is going great, and you’re both still as in love with each other as you were on day one, then that’s great. Keep on carrying on. But if you have somehow fallen out of love and the only reason that you’re staying together is that it would be a waste of your romantic history, then you’re doing it all wrong.
4. Your friends tell you that you should stay together.
Who exactly is in the relationship? Is it you or your friends? It’s you, right? Then why is it you are letting your friends decide whether or not you should be in that relationship. While it’s good to hear out the opinions of your friends regarding your love life, they should never get to have the final say.
5. Overindulgence in apologies.
Your partner keeps on saying sorry over and over again for all the screw-ups and the shortcomings and so you can never bring yourself to just end things. You’re too forgiving. That shouldn’t be the case. If things aren’t going right, there’s no point in forcing it. Not all the apologies in the world will be enough to make up for your lack of love for one another.
6. Superficial traits.
No one can blame you for finding your boyfriend’s muscles and facial structure incredibly attractive. No one is going to fault you for being obsessed with the fact that your man has blue eyes and blonde hair with a perfectly chiseled chin. But these are quite superficial traits that you can’t really build a romance or a relationship on. You can’t rely on these superficial traits to help carry your relationship through the long haul. You need to be able to fall into a relationship with each other for more meaningful and fulfilling reasons. The good looks are only a plus.
7. Comfort and stability.
Yes, these are very good traits to have in a relationship. In fact, they are necessary traits in all of the best long-term relationships in the world. But they should never be made as a reason for staying in a relationship. Just because you are in a comfortable and stable relationship with a person you’re not really in love with doesn’t mean that it’s the right one for you. You can find comfort and stability in plenty of things that don’t involve love or romance.
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