Are you settling?
If you’ve been single for quite a while, then it’s highly likely that you are the type of person who just refuses to settle for a mediocre relationship. You wouldn’t want that for yourself, right? You would rather be happy and single than be in a relationship that forces you to compromise so much more than you’re actually willing to. You don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy and fulfilled anyway. You don’t need to be with someone to have a sense of meaning and completion in your life.
But be very careful. There are many people who settle for relationships even though they don’t really realize it. And you might be one of those people. So how do you know for sure that you’re not just settling for the relationship that you’re in? Well, here are a few signs that you can keep your eye on; here are a few signs that you can be on the lookout for:
1. You and your partner don’t seem to be sharing your lives together much.
You don’t always have to be doing everything together just because you’re in a relationship. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be doing anything together either. To a certain degree, you have to be able to merge your lives together. You have to find common ground as much as possible because that’s how you can really build on the emotional bond and connection hat you have together. If you are constantly just doing your own thing without each other, are you still even in a real relationship? There’s nothing wrong with being independent in a relationship. But there is something wrong with two people who are reluctant to do things together.
2. You and your partner have very little shared interests, values, principles, and goals.
You don’t always have to see eye to eye on everything. You don’t have to agree on every single aspect of life. In fact, a few differences between the two of you might actually prove to be good for the relationship. But it’s never good for a relationship when you practically have NOTHING in common. At the very least, you must share the same fundamental values and principles that two people need to share in order to be compatible with one another.
3. Your friends really don’t like being around your partner.
Not to say that you should be letting your friends make your romantic decisions on your behalf. But if they’re telling you that you deserve better out of your relationship, then you really need to be taking that into consideration. You don’t want to blind yourself with your own personal biases.
4. You treat your partner more like a child than you do an adult.
You should never have to be in a relationship with someone you have to take care of like a child. It takes two mature adults to make a serious relationship work. And if you are doing a bulk of the adult-work, then you know you’re settling for an immature partner.
5. You rarely (or never) say “I love you” to each other.
You don’t really express your love for one another in a healthy manner. In fact, if you don’t really express it at all, then you know that there’s something wrong with that picture. You’re not really in love with your partner if you don’t find ways to express that love. So why be in a relationship if you’re not really in love with each other? Well, you’re probably just settling for someone you’re not really in love with.
6. You don’t really celebrate holidays or special occasions.
When you are in a relationship with someone, you would always want to celebrate special moments and occasions together. But if you treat holidays and special milestones just like any other day even though you’re together, then you know that there isn’t anything special in your relationship at all. You sincerely know that your relationship doesn’t have any significant defining characteristics that make it a romantic one.
7. You don’t really share any emotional intimacy with each other.
Emotional intimacy is always going to be a big deal in any kind of relationship. And if you find yourself incapable of being emotionally intimate with your partner, then maybe it’s because you don’t really trust them enough to do so – and you’re just settling for being with them.
8. You don’t have compatible sexual desires.
Sex should never be underestimated in a relationship. The way that you and your partner approach your sexual activities tells a lot about how your relationship functions as a whole. More often than not, couples who are sexually compatible are the couples who are just plain compatible in general. How you act with one another in a bedroom is a direct manifestation of the general makeup of your relationship as a whole.
Talk to me
Have you settled? Talk to me in the comments below!