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Breakups

9 Common Mistakes You Make After A Breakup That Only Prolong Your Suffering

By November 12, 2018 5 Comments

Breakups aren’t always going to be the easiest thing in the world. It’s always going to be difficult when you have to call it quits on a relationship that you were so heavily invested in. It is especially hard to move on from a relationship when you weren’t the one who decided to end it; when you were the one who was blindsided by the breakup, to begin with. Naturally, you are going to have to cope with an absolute whirlwind of emotions when you go through a breakup. There are so many feelings that you will need to process and you might end up feeling overwhelmed by the gravity of it all. And when you do get overwhelmed, these feelings can often lead you to do things that you wouldn’t normally do. And that there may be actions that might end up putting you in a bad light; actions that you might end up regretting for the rest of your life.

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Or worse, you might be doing things that are only prolonging and adding to the suffering that you are already experiencing.

You would be surprised at how a lot of people engage in some kind of self-sabotage after a breakup without even realizing it. You might think that doing these things can be perfectly normal and natural. But the truth is that committing these mistakes only make it harder for you to really move on and get to where you need to be in life. If you find yourself committing these mistakes after you go through a breakup, then you really need to check yourself. You need to make sure that you stay on the right path toward healing. You don’t want to be shooting yourself in the foot by doing any of these things.

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1. You act in a hysterical manner.

Yes, you have a lot of feelings and you want to let all of them out. However, there are proper platforms and avenues for you to express your feelings. You don’t have to be acting in a hysterical manner. In fact, you shouldn’t or else you might do something you end up regretting.

2. You try to have your partner take pity on you.

You are still hopeful that your partner is somehow going to realize that they never should have left you in the first place. And you think that the way to do this is if you somehow find a way to have them take pity on you. However, you have to know that that rarely ever works and you need to hold on to your dignity.

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3. You agree to stay friends with your ex.

Yes, it’s perfectly plausible for two exes to remain friends after a breakup. It has been proven by so many people already. However, it is never advisable for you to remain friends with an ex if you’re still trying to heal from the breakup. You can’t recover from your wounds if you still keep hanging around the person who caused them in the first place.

4. You ask for all of your gifts and presents back.

Let those gifts and presents go. You shouldn’t be so petty. It’s not a good look on you. Those are just material items. And it’s not like you didn’t mean to let these things go when you decided to gift them to your ex.

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5. You try to force scenarios for the two of you to talk and interact again.

Don’t force it. Your ex obviously wants space and that’s why the two of you had to break up. You are never going to be able to heal if you refuse to honor your ex’s wishes.

6. You share your suffering on your social media.

Don’t. No one wants to hear about your heartbreak in such a public platform. Also, it looks really pathetic.

7. You obsess over your ex’s new romantic life.

What your ex does after the breakup is their own business and it really shouldn’t concern you. It’s very unhealthy for you to be keeping tabs on your ex’s romantic life especially when you need to be focusing on your own life.

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8. You try to rationalize everything that went wrong in the relationship.

You shouldn’t have to buy into the idea that the only way for you to find closure is if you try to rationalize everything that went wrong in the relationship. Yes, you want to learn from your mistakes. But you shouldn’t be dwelling on them either.

9. You ignore your feelings in the hopes that they all just go away.

That’s really not how healing works. In order for you to really recover and move on from your failed relationships, you need to be able to confront your own feelings. You have to come to terms with your emotions no matter how uncomfortable they might be.

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