You never really get to appreciate a good thing until it’s taken away from you. I never understood just how good I had it with my relationship before it actually ended. And the worst part is that the relationship ended because of my own actions. The relationship didn’t last because I was complacent, insensitive, negligent, and a whole lot more. I have to own up to it now because things are so clear to me that everything is over. If only I had known at the time that I was deliberately destroying the one good thing I had in life, perhaps I could have made some adjustments. But I didn’t. I was ignorant and I was selfish. I did whatever I wanted to do and my relationship suffered for it. Here are 10 things I did that completely destroyed my relationship.
1. I used sex as a tool to manipulate my partner into doing what I want.
Sex should never be used as a tool for manipulation under any circumstance. In a relationship, couples have sex to manifest their love and affection for one another in a physical form. Sex is something that increases and stimulates passion and intimacy in a relationship. It should never be used as a bargaining chip or as an instrument for control. Sex is beautiful and it shouldn’t be degraded in such a manner.
2. I stopped taking care of myself and making an effort to actually look good.
You should never get complacent in a relationship. Just because things are stable and you know that your partner loves you unconditionally doesn’t mean that you should be slacking off. You should still be making a constant effort every day to make your partner fall more and more in love with you. That means that you should still be trying your best to make yourself look presentable.
3. I acted jealous even when I had no reason to do so.
A little jealousy is good in a relationship. Jealousy means that you are legitimately afraid that you might lose your partner to someone else. It’s always cute when you act just a little possessive and territorial of your partner. But it’s a separate thing entirely whenever you let your jealousy act as an excuse for your crazy behavior. Just because you’re jealous doesn’t give you the right to be controlling.
4. I always demeaned and criticized him just to hurt my partner.
There should always be room for criticism in a relationship. But the criticism should always be coming from a place of genuine love and concern. You can’t just be criticizing your partner with the sole intention of merely making it hurt for them. You have to be sensitive and kind at all times.
5. I kept on recycling arguments with him.
Arguments have their place in all relationships. It’s impossible for two people to virtually agree with one another on everything. But the key for strong couples is in being able to work on their differences and meet each other halfway. They leave all conflict and negativity in the past.
6. I fell victim to my own double standards.
Don’t fall victim to your own double standards. If you demand for your partner to be acting a certain way, then you should also be doing the same. Don’t demand more time from your partner if you’re not willing to give more of your time in return. Don’t ask your partner to make any compromises when you refuse to make some sacrifices yourself.
7. I compared him to my exes.
You should never make the mistake of actually comparing your current partner to your exes. If you do, then at the very least, you should learn to just keep it to yourself. Don’t go so far as to actually make verbal comparisons just to make your partner feel bad. That’s completely out of line and it’s a very insensitive thing to do in a relationship.
8. I didn’t make an effort to get his friends to like me.
Your partner’s friends are always going to be important to them. That’s why you have to make it a point to make it seem like they’re important to you as well. You don’t necessarily have to force yourself to like them even when they’re not your particular cup of tea. But at least show your partner that you’re really making an effort to get them to like you.
9. I deliberately held him back from his dreams.
Just because you get into a relationship with someone doesn’t mean that you should be giving up on your dreams. Yes, you have to make some compromises and sacrifices for the sake of the relationship. But you shouldn’t be deliberately holding your partner back from their dreams. You shouldn’t be serving as a roadblock between your partner and their goals. You should be pushing them to become better.
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