What’s the difference between loving someone and being in love?
Love is complicated. Any person with any level of reason or rationality will be able to tell you that. In fact, love may possibly be one of the most complex phenomena in the world. A lot of people are still prone to misconstruing their feelings. While it is for certain that all of us are going to crave and search for love in one way or another, not all of us are going to get it right every single time. We all try to experience love in our own capacity and we go through our own personal self-discoveries about or feelings and emotions.
However, the truth still remains that humans are just inherently ignorant. We have to learn through experiences and observations before we can really get things right. That’s why there are times that whenever we think we’re in love, it’s not really the case. We think that we are in relationships that are built to last with people we are genuinely in love with, but then it isn’t so. We are always going to be predisposed to love because that’s an inherent aspect of human psychology. We want to feel and experience love in our lives and so we try to make an effort to give love to people we are attracted to.
However, it is highly important that we learn how to discern between being in love with someone and just loving someone platonically. There is a substantial difference between the two and we cannot afford to be mixing them up with one another. We have to be able to know the difference because we don’t want to end up getting our feelings hurt when we find out that our feelings weren’t as genuine as we had initially hoped. This is where a healthy dose of introspection and reflection can be healthy in relationships. Here are some key differences between just loving someone and being genuinely in love with someone.
1. There is always something beyond the surface when you’re in love with someone.
Take this as an example. When you just love someone and you invite that person out to go on a vacation with you because you feel totally comfortable with that person, you have to be able to try and look deeper into that gesture. Did you invite that person purely because you knew you would have a good time with each other? Or did you invite that person to go with you because you saw this trip as a genuine opportunity for you to build something with one another? You always have to look beyond the surface and go deeper. Find out what your intentions and expectations are with your relationship and then you’ll figure out whether your love is real or not.
2. The emotional stakes are much higher when you’re in love with someone.
When you just love someone, it’s perfectly understandable that you would never want to hurt or disappoint that person. You would do everything you can to make sure that you never betray that person’s trust. You always try your best to ensure that that person won’t feel any negative emotions because of you. However, when you’re truly in love with someone, the stakes are much higher. You don’t want to make that person feel bad because you know that that whole situation would also make you feel bad in the process. You would never want to be the source of that person’s pain because your emotions are directly tied into that person’s as well.
3. You guilt yourself in trying to feel more with the person that you love, but aren’t in love with.
Love doesn’t always have to be rational or justifiable. It just happens and sometimes, it happens beyond a person’s traditional level of reason. There could be one person who seems to tick all of the boxes when it comes to romantic lovability. This person could be good-looking, ambitious, witty, intelligent, charismatic, hardworking, and dedicated, but still, you can’t find yourself to feel the way that you’re supposed to feel about that person. That’s perfectly common.
You’ve fallen in love with people in the past who were less than ideal and so you think you can try to force the issue with this new person. But it’s not the case. You can’t force yourself into being in love with someone; no matter how much you try to.
4. You only live an impulsive kind of lifestyle with a person that you love.
When love someone, you always have an eye for the present. You like to live in the moment because this person makes you feel all sorts of good things that not many others could possibly make you feel. However, it stops there. It all stays in the moment, and these moments are fleeting. But when you’re really in love with someone, you are always keeping an eye for the future. You always think about what lies ahead because you know that this is something you can really build upon.
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