A Man Shares that His girlfriend is Pregnant But He desperately Doesn’t Want It; She Wants to Keep it

Parenthood isn’t a walk in the park by any means – it requires a lot of hard work, dedication, time, emotions, and effort. Ask any good parent, and they’ll tell you raising happy children isn’t an easy task, but it’s the most rewarding and precious thing in the world. Today’s story is about a man who doesn’t want to take on that responsibility even though his pregnant girlfriend does. He’s willing to support the child but doesn’t want to be a father.

The Story

This question was posted on Quora – the largest sharing platform on the planet. In it, a boyfriend wrote:

“My girlfriend is pregnant and I can’t be in this relationship any more. I don’t know who I am anymore and I really need to tell her it’s time for me to leave. If she decides to keep the child, I’ll 100% support it. What do I do?”

The Answers

Quora’s community is one of the best when it comes to giving precise and in-depth answers to life’s toughest questions. Here are some of the top answers to this man’s situation:

Anonymous wrote:

“Did you become unhappy in 7 weeks? Don’t you know what protection is?”

“I was born with parents that weren’t together, and it was completely sh*t. My dad always dated girls, and no one wanted to date my mom because she had a child. My dads girlfriends were uncomfortable for me to be around. When I was younger I told my parents that they should never have had me unless they wanted to raise me together. I never felt home when I was with my dad, and it felt as if I only had a mother. I have half siblings I’m jealous, because they grow up with parents together.”

“Don’t stay with her if you don’t love her, but help financially!!!!!!”

Vaan Cotton said:

“Tell her exactly what you said in your details.”

“I’m not happy in this relationship anymore. I’m slowly getting depressed from it. I don’t know who I am anymore and… it’s time for me to leave. If /you/ decide to keep the child, I’ll 100% support it.”

“That’s all you need to say. Be clear. Don’t try to save her feelings by beating around the bush. It’s not helpful.”

Jeff Johnston said:

It’s time to man up.

“I hear the anguish you are experiencing, but did you think of how hard this is on her?”

“Relationships start with attraction, but they last due to perseverance and dedication because there will always be rough spots.”

“My advice is to support her regardless of her decision. This may or may not mean getting married (she may not want to marry you). However it means supporting her both emotionally and financially, possibly for the next 19 years.”

“You made a conscience decision to engage in risky behavior. The right thing is for you to face the consequences of your decision, especially when two other people are involved.”

John Francois said:

“Man, sad. Terrible conundrum, you can’t win either way. If you stay you get depressed and turn into a monster. If you leave well that’s got consequences too.”

“I think if you’re going to leave then:

  • Support her during her pregnancy.
  • Prepare a small proposal for her stipulating the arrangements you are going to be making to support your child, financially and in terms of your time as well.
  • Let her know how you feel about the relationship.”

“I must remind you however that from her perspective not only have you broken her heart, you have also destroyed a balance that she might have desired in her life. You have altered proceedings in an irreversible manner. She is now a single mother, one of the toughest jobs one can have I suspect.”

“Perhaps one day you will have a family of your own elsewhere , so it might be unlikely that you will have as much time for your child as would probably be healthy. She will fear of course that her child will suffer in many ways because of this.”

“I hope she meets someone who wants to be with her and is happy to accept she has a child with another man. Not because she cannot survive on her own, but so she and your child can know what it feels like to be that happy family living under the same roof.”

This question has more than 160 answers, you can read them all on Quora here.

What’s Your Answer?

What would you say to this man and his situation? Let us know your answers in the comments below!

Source: Quora

4 comments
  1. Very hard knowing the right or wrong thing to do. You are not happy, for whatever reason, she may not be either for whatever reason. There is a child in the making. You would rather not have a child yet, so you are a young man. Women feel the maternal instinct that men don’t, so this is her decision, her body. The biggest responsibility will be on her because of her choice. Be there for her as much as you can, support her thru this time of her life but live your life. You will have a lifetime responsibility to help at least monetarily. Remember to always be honest about your relationships and how you feel. Honesty is always better. God Bless you and her as you go thru this transition.

  2. If you don’t want the child, you can have your rights terminated in court, and will have no further responsibilities to that child. Or you can still support the child, and still not have anything to do with it. The choice is yours. Some people just don’t want kids. It’s not a bad thing. It’s possible that over time you may want to be a part of this child’s life. Maybe. But, people blaming you for getting her pregnant forget the fact that she was there too and is as much to blame. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting a child. You have a choice.

  3. Your are already the Father…. You just don’t want to be a Dad…. She should have the baby and you should financially support the family that you started.

  4. He needs to man up take responsibility for his actions. And do this legally through the courts and support this child till his legal age. Sounds like He is very mature. Maybe this might be a lesson learned here for him.

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