Confession: I cheated on my boyfriend for six months

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Ever since I posted the first confession article here, I’ve been receiving a TON of confessions on the page‘s inbox. This one really caught my eye, because it’s from a girl who cheated on her boyfriend for six months! It takes an insane amount of courage and strength to actually own up to something like that and I fully honoured this girl’s request to have her confession posted here. So I’m going to let her talk, this is going to be her confession in her own words, I haven’t edited or changed anything in it except for the names. The girl wishes to stay anonymous, so all of the names have been changed.

My Confession: I cheated on my boyfriend for six months

Hi "A" and "Z". First of all, I just want to tell you guys what an awesome job you’re doing. I was recently browsing through your page when I saw this confession post some guy wrote about spying on his girlfriend and then leaving her when he found out that he was being cheated on by her. And it instantly took me back to my ex relationship. I’ve been single for more than a year now because I just don’t see the point of asking for love or trying to be loved by someone, because I honestly don’t think I deserve it to begin with. Confused? Don’t be. I’m a cheater. I cheated on my loving boyfriend for six months, yes I’m the villain here. That man had a heart of gold and I just crushed it, I have no justifications for it, what I did was wrong and it will always haunt me for the rest of my days. I am going to tell you guys about it, about what I did that destroyed the man who loved me and in return, destroyed me too.

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I started going out with Frank back in 2014, we met through mutual friends and we hit it off really quickly. I had come out of a very bad relationship and it was my sixth month being single, when I met Frank. After a few weeks of talking to him and hanging out with him, I realised that he actually cared for what I had to say, he actually listened to me and my worries, he was actually concerned about my happiness. I can’t even name one friend of mine to this day, not even my closest of friends, who knew me better than Frank did. Needless to say, Frank and I knew we had feelings for each other and we didn’t really have to go through the whole "who’s going to ask whom out" bit, we just started treating each other like lovers and partners one day and that was the first day of our relationship.

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It was great, amazing, breathtaking, the way we used to be together. The way he used to take care of every little detail, the way he used to pay attention to me, the way he used to give almost all of his time to me. My ex before Frank was a horrible person, he was emotionally absent. But I couldn’t break up with him, for two years we were together because I actually did love that man regardless of how he treated me. But I guess his presence in my life had a very negative toll on the person I am and the person I became. And then Frank came, someone who was the complete opposite. A man filled with emotions and love, a man who literally "wasted" his emotions on a person like me, a cheater.

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When I say cheat, I don’t mean the physical kind. I mean the emotional kind. After two months of being with Frank, I started thinking of all the bad times I shared with my ex. So I used to talk to him, I used to randomly call him up and scream. I used to curse at him, I used to be fierce with my words, I wanted to make sure he knows that I’m in a better place now with someone who actually cherishes my presence. But, while doing all of that, I did something very wrong. I started lying to Frank. He had no issues with me talking to my ex as long as he knew about it, but I was just scared of telling him. I was scared that he might leave me if he found out. I was scared of his reaction, of his perception of me. What would he think of me? I’m a person who just can’t be happy in life even though I have everything? I’m the sort of person who can’t move on from a horrible relationship and actually pay attention to the amazing one I currently have? All of these thoughts just kept boiling up in my head. All the while, I couldn’t stop myself from contacting my ex either. I never flirted with him, I just wanted him to know I’m happy. I wanted him to get jealous of the fact that he couldn’t have me anymore and that I belong to someone else. But this obsession cost me a lot more than I could afford.

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I used to stalk my ex on Facebook, I used to stalk him on Instagram, almost every social forum he was in. And I used to just get angry at his updates, I just wanted him to be sad. What I didn’t realise at the time was that I was also not paying attention to my own happiness. I was ignoring all of the good things that were happening to me because of Frank. And I just kept on feeding my obsession, feeding the hatred I had for my ex, and that’s all I did for six months, without Frank having the slightest idea about it. One day, Frank found out about my obsession. He found out that I was hiding this from him. He was just quiet. He was in shock. I had never seen a man cry before and that was the first time I saw it. I couldn’t take it, a man who loved me with all of his heart was crying right in front of me because of something I did. Because I was too selfish to take care of him, because I was too selfish to cherish him. I asked him, begged him, to forgive me. But the "perfect" relationship he had in his mind wasn’t so perfect after all, and he just couldn’t get out of that shock. I broke his trust, in a split second. He left without saying a word, he just told me to take care of myself, and he was gone.

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It’s almost been a year now. I don’t long for love, I don’t care for love and I just don’t want to feel love, because I don’t deserve it, because people like me shouldn’t be loved, selfish people who can’t see how good they have it until it’s gone. The point of writing this confession isn’t to get sympathy out of people, I’m writing this for all of the people out there, who don’t cherish their relationships. Take it from me, don’t waste your time on the past, move on and be happy with the person who’s trying their all to make you happy.

Talk to her

Yeah, pretty intense. I still don’t know how this girl got the strength to say all of this. If you have something to say to her, please leave a comment in the comments section below. She will be reading all of the comments. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!

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