I’m sure by now; we’ve all established the little fact that the world is not a perfect place with equally perfect people. Life is not a chick flick where after every single disagreement or fight, he’ll show up at your doorstep with red roses in one hand and a basket of expensive chocolates in the other. It’s a rude and very real world, where after a disagreement, he won’t call for two weeks and go out with his friends and get drunk and forget all about you for the night.
No relationship is flawless and if conflicts aren’t handled intelligently by either partner, problems tend to blow out of proportion and take a turn to something serious enough to permanently damage your relationship. Thus, it’s important to know just how to solve the common relationship problems that arise all too often between couples.
1. Lack of proper communication
Good communication is the key to a successful relationship but unfortunately, not everyone can be an extrovert and not everyone can simply express how they’re feeling without thinking about their words twice. Most individuals aren’t able to completely reveal what and how they’re feeling to their partner without thinking about it a couple hundred times beforehand. This hesitance in speaking your mind is where the problem lies, you should be completely at ease with your partner, to the point where you’ll be able to tell them anything and everything you need to.
Even the most embarrassing of things such as your digestive problems (we’ve all been there). In a normal relationship, it’s good to want to talk all the time, no matter what it is that you talk about, just hearing each other’s voice for a good part of your day should be your aim.
So strike up a random conversation at every opportunity you get- it can be about mundane things like the weather or the broken coffee machine- as long as the two of you are talking.
2. Financial mismanagement
Financial problems usually arise for married couples or couples who live together, in most relationships where the couple shares expenses, one partner always seems to have the upper hand since they seem to be spending more.
It’s important to always remember that you can’t control the other’s money but that doesn’t mean that your partner has the right to keep their monetary affairs a secret. Not handling your joint financial issues properly will undoubtedly damage the trust and honour in your relationship.
3. Having too many fights
Granted, fights are inevitable in relationships, there is such a thing as having too many fights. Each time you and your partner fight over something insignificant, a fresh scar is made on the clean and pure slate that was once your relationship. Having too many arguments can lead to misunderstandings and might even be forcing the both of you to keep secrets from the other because you’re afraid of getting into yet another fight.
The key to fighting less is to know when to concede and what is worth fighting for. You can’t have serious fights on little things like who left your apartment door unlocked and expect the two of you to be just fine. You need to stop making things an issue of pride and honuor rather than taking things as they are- nothing you can’t get over or resolve.
4. Lack of trust
Trust is everything in a relationship and the minute you start doubting your partner is the minute you’ve subconsciously let the relationship go. If you’re constantly getting urges to check on your partner’s phone when they’re in the shower or taking peeks at their everyday planner then something is very wrong.
You need to tell yourself that it’s not alright to doubt you partner so much, if you suspect something you need to ask your partner about it up front rather than sneaking behind their back. I know that they say that the suspicious woman is better than an FBI agent; you need to understand that that’s just a figure of speech.
Being suspicious gives you no right to sift through your partner’s personal belonging and say; they find you with their phone in your hands- the relationship is all but ruined because trust is like paper- once crumpled, it can never be the same.
5. Lack of loyalty
This one is a no brainer- I hate to break it to you, but you’re not Mark King from The Other Woman, you can’t have a wife and still be dating three other women for weeks without arousing the slightest of suspicion. If you’re interested in other people while you’re with your partner, maybe it’s time to break things off with your partner. However, if you want to stay loyal and maintain your relationship, you need to declare yourself a taken man and learn to say No, I’m not available.
Because let’s face it, your life is not an episode of The Bachelor, you don’t have a long line of girls waiting for you to pick them up (if you do, however, kudos to you), you have a girl at home who expects you to be loyal to her. If you find that you have serious commitment issues, the right thing for you to do is let go of your partner till a time that you’re more stable to take on a serious relationship.
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Have these solutions ever worked for you? Have they made amends for you? Let me know in the comments below!