There is this feeling that I get whenever I’m just starting to date a guy and he really makes an effort with me. He goes all out when he plans dates for the both of us. He always acts like a perfect gentleman when he’s with me. He treats me like a real princess and he acts like a real prince charming. It makes me feel very giddy and light inside. It makes me feel happy and contented. However, I don’t want this to be where it stops.
Even if he’s practically won me over, I still want him to be putting just as much effort into pursuing me. I still want him to be invested in trying to win me over.
It doesn’t matter if we’ve only been together for 10 days or for 10 years, I want the effort to be the same. I want him to be continually working for my love. I want him to always be proving himself to me. I want him to be doing his best to prove to me that he’s still worth my attention; and that I’m worth all of his effort. I don’t want him to stop chasing after me; as if he believes that he’s already got me locked in his fingers.
I don’t want him to think that he has a permanent hold of me regardless of how he acts. I need him to know that love is a constant chase; it’s a constant fight. And he can’t afford to be complacent or careless if he doesn’t want to lose me.
I need him to realize that even though he was able to win me over at first doesn’t mean that he gets to relax. He doesn’t get to stop trying to win me over every single day that we’re together. I want him to realize that the initial efforts are valiant, but they aren’t enough to impress me. He has to know that the real way to my heart is through constant effort and resilience. I want him to be persistent. I want him to stay relentless. I want him to stay hungry. I want him to stay foolish.
He has to realize that I’m never going to force myself into positions where I don’t feel like I belong. And he’s going to have to convince me that I belong in his life if he wants me to stay with him. He’s going to have to continually convince me of my place in the relationship if he doesn’t want me to leave. I won’t be able to stay with him for too long if I’m not made to feel like I’m needed. I don’t want to stay in places where I don’t feel valued or appreciated.
I don’t want to stay in places where I feel like I’m not welcome. And he’s going to have to convince me that he still wants me if I’m going to stay.
He also has to know that I’m not one who is going to take without giving. I’m the kind of person who is willing to give all of myself to a relationship. I’m always going to go all-in. I’m always going to go all out. I’m the kind of girl who is always willing to pour my heart and soul into my relationships; and I need for him to be the same way. I need for him to be making himself more and more vulnerable to me as we grow older together. I need him to expose his insecurities and fears to me.
I need him to open up to me about the most intricate aspects of his life; because I’m going o be exactly the same. I’m going to do all that I can to make him feel just how important he is to me. I’m going to do everything in my power to convince him of how much I value his presence and his existence. I’m always going to make sure that he feels valued and appreciated; that all of his gestures and efforts don’t go unnoticed.
I am of the firm belief that it’s never really about how a relationship starts. Sure, there are some people who start out great but then they aren’t able to make things last anyway. I know that relationships aren’t all-out sprints. I know that relationships aren’t always going to be full of positive excitement and exhilaration. I know that relationships are a grind. And I need to be with a guy who is able to embrace that grind; a guy who is not going to shy away from the challenge of having to work for my love every single day.
I need to be with a guy who won’t take me for granted; because he can be sure that I wouldn’t take him for granted either.
