Are there people in your life who are a constant source of nothing but a complaint? Do you feel you are happier without them around? Sociopaths, narcissists, compulsive liars, manipulators, these are people who do you more harm than good, who cause more stress in your life than comfort; always questioning you and making you doubt yourself. Whether it’s your work or home environment, you will bump into people who are filled with negative energy. They fuel themselves with all the negativity around and spew it on anyone any chance they get and if you let them, they will dump it on you.
Here are some of the signs that you let the toxic people in your life, get under your skin:
1. Talking about them.
Wasting precious time and energy gossiping about a toxic person and discussing them with people who are close to you, gives them power over you. Why let them get the best of you? They already love being the center of attention, and by talking about them you are making your world revolve around them, which is exactly what they want in the first place. Instead of talking about the toxic people, talk to someone close about how you feel and ask for them to listen to you and give you advice on how to cope with such people.
2. Losing your temper.
Getting irritated, into a foul mood or lashing out over things that toxic people say is playing right into their hands. Do not let them push your buttons, maintain your emotional restraint. The more irrational you are, the more they will be able to manipulate you. Instead of getting frustrated with their response, you should rise above them and focus on all the good things in your life. Allow yourself to be happy and find positive ways of dealing with such situations. Have a slice of cake or treat yourself with a candy bar, because only you have the ability to control your emotions.
The easiest thing for a toxic person to do is to make you feel uncertain about yourself. You will find yourself being bullied, disrespected, taunted at and made feel insignificant by such people, but you should not let them upset you. You need to believe in yourself and understand that none of your self-worth is dependent on their acceptance of who you are. Put yourself in the company of people who love you and appreciate the person you are.
4. Playing the blame game.
By blaming other people for their wrong choices and pointing fingers is exactly what a toxic person does, and if you, in turn, do the same by blaming toxic people for falling prey to their manipulations, you are not the victim. You are slowing turning into one of them. Learn to accept your mistakes and shortcomings, and deal with the consequences instead of playing the victim. You are responsible for every decision you take. How you respond to situations is on your shoulders; whether you welcome the obstacles with a smile on your face, or sulk and blame others for your wrong choices, is on you.
5. Feeling sorry for yourself.
Overindulging yourself with comfort food and wasting your time feeling sorry for yourself because of a toxic individual’s remark is not going to do you any good. You should not let anything they say aggravate your peace of mind. By doing just the opposite of this, you are letting them win. What you should do is take a minute and try creating a love for yourself, try being gentle instead of going hard on yourself because of them. And remember, you are never really as good or as bad as they say you are.
6. Displaced anger.
One of the worst things you do is displace all that pent up anger and frustration of the toxic people, on the ones that truly matter to you. You should not let these toxic individuals be the reason you scream, bicker and yell at the ones who actually care for you. By reacting in such a way, you will not only distance yourself from people who do you good but sink deeper into the toxic pit. Take a deep breath and give yourself some time to consider what is happening and then deal with the toxic people accordingly.
7. Setting boundaries.
In order to keep away from these sorts of people, you need to set some boundaries and make sure they do not cross them. If you find yourself in an ordeal where you feel pressurized into doing something or feel as if you have no control over what is happening, you need to take a step back and set the boundaries straight because toxic people have a bland disregard for them. Let them know what is appropriate and what’s not and stay firm to your values.
8. Turning toxic.
You might get the impression that when it comes to toxic people; you cannot win, that you’re always falling short of their expectations. Also, you will feel as if you are turning into one of the toxic ones. But instead of getting tricked and emotionally responding to their banter, you take a rational approach to what they say, work on the deficiencies on your part, and fix them.
9. Cutting them out.
What you need to do is distance yourself from such people. Toxic people are just going to continue being a nuisance, and no one wants such negativity in their lives. Happiness is the key to success and the only way you can achieve it is to ensure that the toxic people in your life are no longer part of it. You need to burn the bridges and push them out of your life for good, and not feel guilty about it because no one has the right to make you feel small or cause you pain just so they can feel better about themselves. Learn to accept yourself with all your flaws and do not let anybody change who you are. And know, your self-worth comes from within.
Talk to me
Have you had toxic people in your life? How did you deal with them and how did you fix yourself? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!