Misconceptions about love that may be keeping you from finding true love

Love has always been defined as an unconditional, selfless and Self-healing elixir of youth. But is that really true? Does love provide a cure to all the personal and interpersonal problems in the world? Well, maybe, but It takes a lot more than love to develop a relationship that is worthy of praise.

You can’t expect love to pay for your child’s school fee or your mortgage. It takes a lot more than that. Relationships are a constant struggle and love may provide the driving force to help you procure the important things in life. However, it’s a misleading statement that it is the panacea to all the corporate ills that infect us in a life time.

Here are some of these misconceptions:

1. Love is all you need to lead a good life.

There’s no denying the fact that love is an important aspect of one’s life but just because love is important does not mean that love is all that’s important to live a successful life. Practically speaking, you need food, a good place to live, basic human rights- money to live a ˜good’ life. Nothing will come from finding love and yet still sleeping out on the streets or starving days on end.

Love might quench your emotional thirst for companionship but can it quench your real, physical thirst for water? Sure, you can find ˜love’ but what happens when ˜love’ physically or mentally resorts to abusing you and denying you your basic rights? Would you still consider yourself as one of the few living the good life?

In the end, all you need is not just love. You need assurance and protection from the outside world for it possesses the capability of seriously harming you.

2. True love is NOT Unconditional

Sorry to break it to you, but there is no such thing as unconditional, unqualified love. If there was, how you would go about explaining the millions of divorces and break ups that take place all year round?

True love has its conditions, including how much time you’re willing to spend with your partner, whether or not you and your partner have a healthy relationship or whether or not the both of you desire the same things for yourselves. There simply isn’t love perfect enough to exist without any conditions.

3. You will know deep within you when you meet someone who’s right for you.

Nothing ever feels magically right when it comes to relationships and potential love interests. You won’t automatically just know whether or not someone’s ˜the one’ based on one chance meeting. Unless you’re delusional, you won’t meet someone for a quick date and immediately upon meeting, you decide that they’re the ones you want to spend your entire life with. It just doesn’t happen like that in real life.

As a matter of fact, most relationships these days start with two people not taking a liking to each other at all or not seeing each other in a romantic light; it’s this unexpected and unexplainable kind of love that has the tendency of actually lasting.

4. People can’t be changed.

People are very much capable of change! In fact, people almost always change over time, for better or for worse. So if someone who might’ve hurt you in the past reenters your life, seemingly changed into someone completely different, instead of not giving them a chance based on their past actions, you should view them as a completely different person. By telling yourself over and over again that they’re not the one because they hurt you previously, you might be keeping yourself from the one who’s meant for you.

5. Your lover has to be your best friend too.

Untrue! It’s stupid and foolhardy to think that your lover will be your best friend and thus looking for the indicators of a good best friend in your lover. It’s always wise to keep a few best friends around even when you’ve entered a serious relationship because sometimes you need a fresh perspective and a best friend’s shoulder to cry on which is far different from the sort of comfort provided by the partner.

6. Timing is key.

By now, we’ve established the fact that there is no key to love. There are certain things that help ease your search for love but no specific thing that will completely guide you on your quest to finding love. Timing doesn’t always have to be on your side for you to find true love. Often people find true love when they’re with someone else or when they’re not looking for love at all.

7. Can’t fathom settling with anyone other than ˜the one’.

If you continue your search for true, limitless love, you’re in for some disappointment because in your search, you might be turning down a lot of opportunities of finding someone that is truly right for you. Just because you don’t click with someone, does not mean that you need to rule them out completely as a potential partner.

In your head, prince charming might be tall with piercing eyes and a jawline refined enough to cut diamonds with when in reality, the one who’s meant for you might be chubby and short with soft, caring eyes. Thus, you need to draw a fine line between your fantasia expectations and the bittersweet reality.

8. With the one you love, everything will fall into place.

Nothing ever falls into place, because the fact of the matter is that navigating through love is one of the hardest things one has to do. A perfect relationship will never be handed to you on a silver platter, you need to work hard to perfect your relationship and make it so that it makes both you and your partner happy.

You can only spend the first few weeks of being in a relationship making googly eyes at the one you think you’re in love with, once the haze of desire and lusts fades away, all that there’s left are the problems and practicalities that need to be dealt with.

Talk to me

Do you hone these misconceptions about finding true love? Let me know in the comments down below!

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