In today’s episode of “How We Need to Accept Babies,” we have a woman who couldn’t handle when her friend was changing her baby’s diaper on her living room floor. She got super-disgusted by it and posted her question on Netmums – a massive forum for mothers, to ask whether she’s right for being annoyed and disgusted or not.
The Story
An anonymous user on Netmums posted her question about diapers and poop; here it is:
“Hi there,
“I’ve been annoyed about this all weekend and i want to gauge whether I’m being unreasonable or not.
“Disclaimer/background: I don’t have children, I don’t particularly like other people’s children, or the fact they impact my life more than i feel they should given i didn’t choose to have them, but I keep these views relatively private and am obviously happy enough to accommodate friends kids around, and have a fairly liberal view of the world in terms of rearing them (or at least other people rearing them – I don’t pretend to have much right to argue how this should be done given the above, essentially if it doesn’t impact me – go for it…).
“Basically, an old uni friend who I’ve not seen for a while popped round with her 19 month old, who I probably last saw when she was ~4 months. Mid-pleasant catch-up it’s apparent 19 month old needs nappy changing and it’s definitely solids. Friend proceeds not to break conversation but whip out a very small changing mat and some wipes etc, lay it all on the carpet and introduce fresh faecal matter into my front room.
“I didn’t say anything at the time as I was genuinely a bit confused, swinging between repulsed and my liberal back to nature ideals – maybe i shouldn’t be annoyed by this? But my digestive biccie now has a overpowering scent of poo accompanying it, and my other friend looks like he’s about to start retching.
“I am very supportive of breast feeding in public etc, that just hasn’t got any argument against it, why should anyone be made to eat their lunch in a toilet, but in the same vein – why is it acceptable to change a nappy in a living room rather than a perfectly well equipped bathroom or even ANY other room that we are not drinking tea in? I’m a health care professional, I get a liberal dowsing of other people’s bodily fluids on a fairly regular basis so i’m really not squeamish but that just seemed rude and pretty rank to me. I get that you are probably completely immune to your own child’s effluence, but to expect others to find it as delightful seems unreasonable. And clearly being made to lie a wriggling toddler on a cold tiled floor is not ideal either but surely someone else’s carpeted lounge (the same one 5 mins before said toddler was being breast fed in)is equally unacceptable… (this is clearly entirely separate from what you do in your own house – totally up to you there, i don’t have to live in it).
“Thoughts?”
The Answers
The comments section was a mixed bag; some people were against the woman for feeling like she did, while others supported her and said it was okay. And most of the mums didn’t understand why she brought breastfeeding into her question; changing diapers and breastfeeding are two very different things. Here are some of the top answers:
Netmum Laura J responded:
“As a mum I would never do this without asking the person there where to change the baby, some friends say go ahead and change it there, others will direct me to where I can change them. So I don’t blame you for not being happy about changing a dirty nappy in your living room.
“However, most of my mum friends on playdates will change a nappy in the living room without thought, and that doesn’t bother me. Maybe she is used to doing the same so she did it without thought?
“Perhaps next time if she goes to change a nappy in your house, say something like ‘oh, I’ll show you where you can change her’. Hopefully that will make her think a bit more in future”
Katie D said:
“Changing nappies is just something that you do without even thinking about. She probably should have asked but never thought to.
“It’s been a few years since I changed a nappy. Would I have asked in a friends house? Maybe, maybe not. Depends on the friend.
“I don’t understand why you keep bringing breastfeeding into it?”
Charlie R answered:
“I’m not sure I see the relevance of breastfeeding?
“Whilst it’s not something I would do at a friends house, I do think you need to get a grip. You are still so upset hours laters that you have decided to write a very long rambly rant about it. It’s a babys bum being changed, is it really that offensive?
“Sounds like you need more like minded friends. It doesn’t sound like you really wanted the baby there at all and have found any excuse to become offended.”
There are over 30 sound and relatable answers on this woman’s question, you can read all of them at Netmums here.
Our Answer
You already know how we feel about motherhood and mothers in general – we give them the utmost love and respect. When you become a parent, changing diapers is one of the essential aspects. There’s nothing wrong with doing it wherever your baby needs it. It’s a baby!
They don’t wait to go to the loo or let their parents know they have to go; they go when they have to – simple. To everyone reading this, please go easy on parents of newborns and be kind to them instead of being disgusted.
What’s Your Answer?
What would you give as an answer to this woman’s question? Talk to us in the comments below!
Source:
Dear People,
It’s a floor! If anything I would want to know why she didn’t change the baby somewhere cleaner. It’s not like she changed him on your bed or on the sofa where everyone sleeps. If your friend with a baby is invited over, where is she/he supposed to change the baby? Is there a changing table in a room? Otherwise I don’t see the problem. Besides, if both had babies, you still may not want to use a friend’s table. Germs. I think the friend did the nicest way b/c if it is a diaper w/ #2 then it will smell whether the diaper is off or on. This is petty and stupid. She needs a friend who isn’t a total douche.
This is crazy she invited her friend knowing she had a baby and now has something to say. I have a question would you rather have you all including the baby suffer on what comes a long with not caring and hear baby cry and make the mom feel guilty (getting a rash and wait so long before they leave??) I’d feel ashamed of you, as a friend for the moment.
I’m glad you asked the question and were reaching out. Maybe you should put yourself in her position and you were once a baby too and they’re human beings too.
No one wants you to leave child in dirty diaper, let’s not be dramatic. Once a baby is walking though, the living room floor, in front of everybody who’s eating, socializing is not acceptable. Poo belongs in the loo. Babies changed on living room floor, fine. Walking toddlers with solid poo, out of sight. Needs to be a natural transition to bathroom anyways so why not now…and solids from the diaper should be put in toilet anyways…not loaded in my kitchen garbage…moms wake up!