The Narcissist’s Playbook: 5 Toxic Tactics to Watch Out For

Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. Narcissists are often very charming and manipulative and can be very destructive in relationships.

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you’re likely to experience some of the following hurtful behaviors:

1. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which the narcissist tries to make you doubt your reality. They may deny things they said or did or twist your words around to make you seem crazy. This can be very confusing and disorienting, and it can make you question your own sanity.

For example, a narcissist might say, “I never said that,” or “You’re just imagining things.” They might also try to make you feel like you’re the one who is crazy or overreacting. This can be very effective in making you doubt yourself and your perceptions.

2. Discarding

When a narcissist is done with you, they will discard you without warning or explanation. They may simply ghost you or give you a cruel and hurtful goodbye. This can be very traumatic, and it can leave you feeling confused, rejected, and abandoned.

For example, a narcissist might suddenly stop returning your calls or texts, or they might block you on social media. They might also say something hurtful, such as “I never loved you” or “You’re better off without me.” This can be difficult to cope with and take a long time to heal.

3. Triangulating

For example, a narcissist might start negatively talking about their ex-partner, or they might start comparing you to their friends or family members. They might also make you feel like you have to compete with them for their attention. This can be very stressful and emotionally draining.

Triangulation is a manipulation tactic where the narcissist pits you against another person. They may badmouth the other person to you or make you feel like you’re in competition with them. This can create a lot of drama and conflict, making you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells.

4. Projecting their flaws onto you

Narcissists are very good at projecting their own flaws onto others. They may accuse you of being the one who is selfish, demanding, or controlling. This can make you feel like you’re the problem, even when you’re not.

For example, a narcissist might say, “You’re always so needy,” or “You’re always trying to control me.” They might also accuse you of being the one who is always starting arguments. This can be very confusing and hurtful because it’s not you who is behaving this way.

5. Using you for their own gain

Narcissists will use you for their own gain, even if it hurts you. They may use you for your money, status, or emotional support. They may also use you to boost their own ego.

For example, a narcissist might ask you for money or favors, even if they know you can’t afford it. They might also make you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them so you don’t do anything that might upset them. This can be very draining and emotionally exhausting.

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Many people have been through this, and there is help available. Please reach out to a therapist or counselor if you need support.

6. Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

If you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to take some time to heal. This may involve therapy, support groups, or simply spending time with people who love and support you.

Healing from narcissistic abuse can be a long process, but it is possible. You can learn to trust yourself again and build healthy relationships with time and support.

Remember, you are not alone. Many people have been through what you’re going through, and help is available. Please reach out to a therapist or counselor if you need support.

I hope this expanded version of the article is helpful. If you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.