10 Reasons You Shouldn’t Try To Change Your Partner

A Posted 6 months ago
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If you love someone, don't change them.

Compromise. This is a key aspect of any relationship. We’re not going to get our way a hundred percent of the time in a relationship and we have to accept that fact. We’re going to have to adjust in some shape or form to accommodate the needs of our partners. We have to be mindful and sensitive of our partner’s feelings and emotions before we act or say anything. We must always remember that our words and actions can affect other people in ways that we can’t necessarily anticipate. That’s why it’s important for us to make a few adjustments to our behavior. That’s why it’s important for us to make a few compromises here and there. We have to be able to please our partners the best way that we can so that we can promote balance in a relationship.

But again, sometimes, we get so caught in wanting our partners to compromise, we end up asking them for too much. We try to change the essence of their being so that they can better fit into the narrative that we are trying to form for them. You should never allow yourself to be guilty of this. You can’t force your partner to act in ways that are unnatural to them just so it will make you happy. You have to remember that you are still dealing with another human being who also has limitations and vulnerabilities. You can’t expect your partner to radically change who they are just for your sake. You shouldn’t also have to change who you are for the sake of your partner. There are plenty of reasons as to why trying to change your partner is a bad idea and here are a few of them:

1. That person is not going to change unless they want to.

Unless a person really wants to change, then that person is most likely going to stay the same. You can’t ever force a fish to fly. It would be the same of asking a person to become something they have no interesting in being. 

2. You should focus on things that you can control within yourself.

Instead of asking your partner to change for you, maybe you can look inside of yourself and find things that you can change on your own. 

3. Changing your partner doesn’t necessarily address the issues in a relationship.

For the most part, issues that arise in a relationship are brought about by external factors. And so that means changing your partner won’t necessarily change the environment or the problem that you find yourselves in in the first place. It might end up becoming a moot exercise.