Each one of us looks at relationships differently. Some of us like to keep it loose, some prefer commitment while some just can’t wait for it to be secured by a strong bond, like marriage. Although many people consider marriage the next big step’ in a relationship that would bring a change in their lives, yet it is not really the ultimate goal of a relationship, if you ponder.
There is nothing wrong with fantasizing marriage and looking forward to the big day but, if talking generally, marriage is not the goal for successful relationships. In other words, two people do not need’ to get married in order to make their relationship successful; it is possible without marriage too.
Here are 7 reasons why marriage is not the goal for a successful relationship:
1. Certificates Often Don’t Matter If You Have The Talent:
If the two of you have a bond stronger than anything. And everything you do connects you strongly with them, then you may not feel the need to be married to them, and it is completely alright. When/if the purpose is fulfilled, that is vowing to stay together forever without getting married then marriage is not the ultimate goal for your relationship which is successful, if such is the case.
2. It is Secondary:
People often forget that marriage is secondary while falling in love with and fully understanding your partner is primary. Rushing through the first phase only to jump to the second phase that is marriage is not the right way to take a relationship along. Working on your relationship comes first and the reason why marriage is secondary is because it is just a stronger form of commitment and not a factor on which your relationship should wholly depend.
3. Too Much Focus on the Destination Spoils the Journey:
When two people constantly try to keep their shit together and contribute more than required, they often get off track and things go horribly wrong. That is why they say that too much focus on where you have to go can spoil the whole journey. The saying, The tighter you pull a rope the weaker it gets also fits this situation. Relationships are to be built upon emotional understanding; they are not deals that two people make.
Couples live with each other because they like to and because they want to. If they start paying attention to the societal bounds that marriage comes with all the time then they may be putting their relationships in danger.
4. It is Not Always the Right Choice:
Marriage is a beautiful thing if it is between the right people who know what they are doing. TBH, we all have seen couples taking a divorce for reasons like We were not ready’ and we married for the wrong reasons’ etc. Knowing that you are ready for it is a difficult thing to come up with if you and your partner do not have the understanding required for it.
We are not implying that couples who get married are always insecure, what we are saying is that if you want to make your relationship is successful, do not consider marriage as the only definite answer.
5. Their Vision of Happiness Can be Different Than Yours:
The way you look at happiness and the way your partner looks at happiness in a relationship can be different. Their perspective and your perspective about the strength of your bond can be different, and if you fail to understand it then it may be problematic. In other words, if you want to get married for happiness and they don’t see the reason as relevant then forcing marriage in your relationship can harm it, even if they agree and the marriage takes place.
If they fail to cope with the married life and the pressures of commitment starts scaring them one day, you may regret forcing the decision. Marriage is not the goal, mutual happiness is.
6. Vows are Made By Heart:
If the vows made while standing at the altar are the same vows that you secretly make when you look at them, you may not need marriage and you may not feel the need to sign some papers. Because you know you love them and that your body may grow old and weak but your love for them will stay the same and you will keep the vows you make by heart every time you look at them.
7. Some of Us Just Want to See Where It Goes:
Even if it has been two or three years to your relationship, you still may not feel ready for marriage. That is not because you are a terrible person who fears commitment, but because you don’t want things to be hardcore. You like to live with the flow, maybe, and you just want to see where it goes.
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What is your take on marriage? Let me know in the comments below!