Relationships have evolved over the years, they’ve become more technological now. The days of writing letters and appreciating every bit of it are long gone, I sort of miss those days, the days when every single phone call meant more than anything else. It’s all sort of taken for granted now, because everything is so easily to obtain and also easy to replace (harsh, I know, but true nonetheless). Today, I’m going to talk about some of the amazing old-fashioned relationship habits we truly need to bring back. Let’s begin.
10. Spend a whole day together, without technology
It might sound a little “too much” to some of you but just try it once, you’ll feel free. When we spend time with our partners, we don’t really truly appreciate their presence, because of the numerous phone calls and messages we have to tend to in the middle of it all. Take one day out, for the two of you, either leave your phones at home or just switch them off. Have a nice conversation with each other, go to your favorite restaurant, just don’t let your attention be taken away by your phone and spend proper time with each other. It’s an amazing feeling, trust me, I’ve tried it. I do this every now and then with my girlfriend, we have our “anti-tech” days where both of us switch off our phones. It’s very relieving.
9. Truly appreciate each other
We don’t fully appreciate our partners, we miss out on a lot of little things that mean a lot to them and we just ignore those things. Learn to truly appreciate your partner, don’t miss out even the smallest of effort they bring your way and let them know that you’re aware of their efforts. Gentle reminders every now and then that everything they do for you is appreciated means a lot to them, it doesn’t matter if they know it already, reminders are very important. Life is too short, and you don’t want to know how short it is, certain incidents and scenarios may take place, incidents that will make you regret not giving your all to your partner. Appreciate each other, completely.
8. Be present, mentally
It’s one thing to spend time together, it’s a different thing to actually be “present” during those times. Some of us, well most of us, are so caught up in our daily stresses and our busy schedules that we just can’t be completely mentally present with our partners, it’s very vital and not being mentally present may harm your relationship especially if your partner is and you aren’t. My ex made me feel horrible, because she never actually “listened” to me, she spend endless hours with me but not one second was spent when I felt that she’s actually “with” me, she was just there and her mind was somewhere else. It hurts, make sure you don’t hurt your partner because of this.
7. Play a vital part in each other’s growth
A relationship is amazingly successful when both partners have a keen interest in each other’s goals and dreams. If you are truly supportive of your partner in what they do, they will never forget your support and appreciate it for the years to come. Be each other’s council, help each other in the most difficult of times, groom each other and empower one another. If they fail, don’t let them get too affected by it, make their failures seem small and strengthen them even further to be successful, these are the common traits of every strong and long-lasting relationship and this is something I don’t see in a lot of the “modern day” couples.
6. Solve your problems, without help from outside
Successful couples are so successful because no one knows their problems, the strongest of couples fight and have ups and downs, but the strong part about them is that they learn to solve their issues together and don’t ask others for help, they don’t cry in front of anyone else and prefer to cry in front of each other if they have to. Strong couples have good social lives, they have a lot of friends, but none of their friends know of their problems, that’s what makes them “perfect” in their eyes, because they keep their problems to themselves, that’s how it should be. In today’s world, social media plays a vital role in relationships, I’ve seen a lot of sad status updates where couples bash each other just to be okay in a few hours, but the damage is done and everyone knows of your problems, avoid it.
5. Always deliver your promises
Promises are meant to be kept, but in today’s world promises are sort of losing their appeal and worth because some of us don’t take them too seriously. I was also one of those people, a few months ago, my girlfriend made me promise her that I’ll bring a healthy change to my lifestyle (get proper sleep, work out, eat healthy) and I happily gave her my word. But a few days later, I completely forgot my promise and went ahead with the lifestyle I had (sleeping at five in the morning, not eating properly etc). So naturally, a few days later, she got very sad with me and expressed her feelings toward the promise I never kept. It made my realize how easily I forgot about it, I was ashamed, I love this woman more than anything and I forgot my promise? Since that day, the value of a promise has increased tremendously in my mind and I always keep my promises.
4. Practice being truthful
This might seem like a no brainer but it’s getting more and more abundant as we progress as people. Lying is becoming a habit in more and more couples everyday, it’s sort of a way out, an avoidance therapy of sorts, people just want to avoid their problems rather than facing them head on and telling the truth. It’s more scary now because people lie thinking that it’s not a big deal to lie as long as it’s for the sake of your happiness, this is valid only to some extent but not if you make a habit out of it. Relationships last longer when there’s complete transparency between two people and the element of lying is almost non-existent. Practice being truthful, it goes a long way.
3. Be a loyal partner
This too is slowly fading away, the concept of cheating is becoming more and more common and technology has a big hand in this, because of technology it makes it more easy and accessible to cheat on someone because you can very easily hide your acts and delete them forever. But karma does exist and whatever you do has an affect on your life sooner or later. Loyalty is what we need. Don’t get me wrong, I use my phone more than the average person, but I also have nothing to hide. My girlfriend usually uses my phone to call people and she never goes through my messages because she knows how grateful I am for having her, same goes for her, this sort of transparency gives us both peace of mind. Be loyal, be happy.
2. Know when to apologize
When we don’t apologize for something we do, we make our partners feel like they’re not important enough to us, we make them feel like our ego and pride is worth more to us than having them in our lives, that’s very negative and can lead to a lot of bad fights and traumas. It’s only human to make mistakes and we should all own up to our mistakes right there and then, don’t wait for them to ask you to apologize, do it on your own because that has a stronger impact. Some people might say that saying sorry isn’t going to undo their mistakes, that’s true but it’s also true that by saying sorry you are letting them know that you are fully aware of your mistakes and you’ll learn from them, never to repeat the same mistake again.
1. Love each other, physically and spiritually
In today’s world, people pay more attention to what’s on the outside, people are getting more and more superficial and it’s not a healthy way to live by. Beauty fades away, affection and love last forever, and those who know the latter are the same people who are truly happy. If you have a habit of loving someone for how they look or present themselves, you’re going to have a bad time. True love means loving each and everything about your partner, it means a strong physical connection as well as a strong spiritual connection. Keep a balance between the two.
Question of the day
What is the one habit your simply adore about your relationship? Share your answers in the comments below. As always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!