Communication is key. It’s practically like listening to a broken record with how many times you’ve heard this phrase. But it’s true. It’s a reminder that you constantly need to be taking to heart as far as your relationship is concerned. You have to understand that words are powerful; they can either bring two people closer together or drive two people apart. And how you use your words in your relationship is really going to have an effect on whether you are both going to be able to make it last with one another or not.
Granted, not all of us are going to be skilled conversationalists. And that’s okay. We don’t have to be really good conversationalists to be good communicators. Healthy communication is mostly about honesty and openness. It’s about being humble enough to allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of your partner. It’s when you just let yourself out in the form of words. However, you can’t be reckless either. You have a responsibility over the things that you let out of your mouth.
You can’t just be saying anything while expecting yourself to be absolved of all accountability to your words. Your words have meaning and they have impact. And sometimes, you could be saying things in your relationship that could be driving your partner farther away from you.
1. “I wish you could be more like ______.”
This is never a good thing to say to the man you love. You should never be pressuring him into being someone he’s not. You shouldn’t be comparing him to other men. You should only be pushing and motivating him to be the best possible version of himself.
2. “You always/never do this to me!”
Be very careful with extreme language. It can be very easy to fall into the trap of lazy communication. You don’t want to always be limiting yourself to superlatives when you’re talking to him. Just because he does something wrong once doesn’t mean that he ALWAYS does it to you. Don’t be so damning when you speak to him.
2. “Why can’t you just know what I want without me saying it?”
He’s not a mind-reader. This is a completely unreasonable question to be asking him. You shouldn’t be expecting him to anticipate your needs at every turn especially if you’re not making an effort to communicate them well to him. If you feel like your needs aren’t being addressed, bring it up with him in a mature and honest fashion.
3. “Get away from me!”
No matter how upset you might be a him, it’s never right to tell your man to get away from you. You don’t want to end up regretting those words if he actually follows suit and leaves you. If you feel like you need to take a breather from him for a while; ask him to give you some time to yourself in a calm and nice manner. Don’t tell him to just bugger off. That’s going to greatly hurt his feelings.
4. “Stop crying like a baby.”
Men should be allowed to cry. If he’s exposing his insecurities and vulnerabilities to you, you shouldn’t be making him feel bad about it. You should be supporting him and empathizing with him. He’s baring his soul – and that’s typically not an easy task for a lot of men. Be more caring and sensitive to his feelings.
5. “I need a break from you.”
Be very careful when using these words. The word “break” in particular can be troublesome in a relationship. So if you feel like you need to have some space for the meantime, just ask for it. He should be able to respect the fact that you occasionally want your privacy.
6. “You are so annoying.”
Don’t make it seem like it’s bothersome for you to have him around. If he does things that bug you, then bring them up with him in a calm and civil manner. Don’t just outright tell him that you think he’s annoying – that’s going to turn him off to the idea of spending time with you.
7. “If you were really in love with me, you would…”
This is an ultimatum and there should be no place for this kind of talk in a relationship. It’s manipulative and it’s cruel. You shouldn’t be testing how much he loves you by resorting to these kinds of cheap tactics.
8. “I don’t understand why I’m even with you.”
Never make him feel like you’ve lost your sense of purpose in the relationship. Once he feels that, he might be losing his sense of purpose as well. And before you know it, he’s going to be long gone.
9. “I don’t need you in my life.”
Men always like to feel needed. And even though it might be true that you’re perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, never let him know it. Always make him feel validated and valued in your life.