Do you have an insecure boyfriend? Insecurities can kill a relationship before it even gets any chance to grow.
New relationships can be a beautiful thing. You’re the center of someone’s world and they want to do nothing other than spend time with you. Love has only just begun to blossom and in that time, you feel as happy as you can be. Now I’m not saying that love has to diminish over time, but it does become a less outwardly and more inwardly i.e. you’re just expected to know that they love you.
They’ll take you out on dates occasionally rather than every other night. No one wants the sparkle of their relationship to dim. They’ll do anything to hold onto it and feel loved forever. Yet, can there be such a thing as too much love? Sadly, yes. I say sadly because it is indeed a bad thing. Too much love can result be suffocating. Having an insecure boyfriend will show you how.
1- He needs constant reassurance:
You two are in a relationship because you confessed your feelings for each other. Thus, you’ve basically told him that you really do like him. However, he needs you to say it over and over again and not in the romantic way you think. He wants you to remind him every single second of every single day that you don’t love anyone but him.
For most people, if their partner isn’t sincere with them, they’ll walk away and never look back. They’ll know that it didn’t end because of them and that’s assurance enough. Yet, an insecure boyfriend would need you to remind him that you love him.
Not because he denies the fact that you aren’t sincere with him, but because they think you’ll change your mind any second. You can’t exactly blame them for this, but they need to understand that this is can drive people apart. – Continue reading on next page
2- He has a lot of unnecessary questions about the men in your life:
Your ex, the guy next door and your best friend aren’t people you’re attracted to. You’re in a relationship with him, but he wants more. It’ll start off small with him wanting to know why you’re talking to them.
He’ll act like he just asked that as a matter of fact-ly. Then it’ll move on to more unnecessary questions and he’ll change his tone. Like, you’re doing something really wrong. He’ll think that you still have feelings for them or have somehow just developed those feelings while being in a relationship with him.
He’ll think that anyone you talk to is automatically someone you have a crush on. It’ll be a constant annoyance trying to convince him that you aren’t attracted to any of them. What’s worse is the fact that he’ll somehow remember to bring it up during a fight and imply that you’re cheating on him.
3- He gives you no space:
Even if you’re in a relationship, you’re allowed to have a certain limit of personal space. You aren’t obligated to spend every second of your relationship practically glued to them. At the end of the day, not everything is going to revolve around you two and you’ll have to carry on with your life outside of the relationship.
He isn’t willing to accept that. He’ll show up at work or your house unannounced several times. You’ll find it cute the first few times but after a while, it just gets creepy. You’ll barely ever see him with his friends or family, he’ll just be around you. Honestly, it isn’t because he has to be there to look out for you or anything.
He just wants to be there because he’s insecure about where you two stand at the moment. After a petty fight, he’ll show up unannounced in an area where you’ll feel incredibly uncomfortable because of him.
4- He gets jealous easily:
While most of the signs on this list are a basic generalisation, your boyfriend may or may not be along the lines with them. This is a sure sign of an insecure boyfriend. He’ll get so incredibly jealous at the slightest indication that you like someone else. When in fact, you won’t actually like them at all.В – Continue reading on next page
They’re just making it up in their minds and acting like it’s the truth. They’ll make up a scenario where you leave them for some guy at work and act like they’ve just seen the future. They’ll over-analyze the situation and change it from something meaningless to something with a hidden meaning. You’re over there telling him for the billionth time that there really is nothing to worry about and he’s refusing to accept that.
He might outwardly accept it so that the day can go back to normal. Yet, seeing him again will make bring out the green-eyed monster all over again.
5- He’ll get aggressive:
After jealousy, it’s time for aggression. The guy who you saw as a sweetie, who wanted nothing more than to spend time with you, disappears completely in those fights. He’ll bring up complete and utter nonsense from weeks or even months before! He’ll act like that was something burning a hole in him since that time.
As if he’ll never forgive you for it even though the scenario was made up in his own mind. You’ll see how he gets mad when a guy actually does make a pass at you. The odd part is that he won’t blame him as much as he’ll blame you. Like, you were something meant for no one else but him and by letting some other guy develop feelings for you, you cheated on him.
6- He’ll over think and over analyze meaningless things:
Insecurity is basically feeling like you can never be good enough. Everyone goes through phases of insecurity. There’s always something that we feel is wrong, it makes us human. I’m not trying to diss insecurities as something that’s really uncalled for because you can never know a person’s story.
However, you’re in a relationship with someone for a reason: they love you. Even if you’re insecure, there’s always a way to overcome it and what better way than with your partner? If your boyfriend is insecure then he’ll over complicate any situation which in turn complicates the relationship. It’ll be something relatively simple or completely meaningless. In fact, you yourself wouldn’t think much of it.
However, your boyfriend over thinks about it to such an extent that he can’t spend another second without having that cleared up. It’s another thing to be cautious, but a completely other thing to be like this. Over analyzing and over thinking is the root of all insecurities. They turn nothing into something and with time that something becomes the purpose of their life. They’ll ask you questions you don’t have answers to because you never gave it the time of day. It’ll frustrate them that you can’t give them an answer.В – Continue reading on next page
7- He’s a little too obsessed with you:
Everyone likes to be pampered and feel loved. That’s natural, but as I’ve mentioned above, there actually is a thing such as suffocating love. No one likes to be suffocated and to think love could suffocate. They change their entire lives to give priority to you. You’d think it’s sweet, but it actually isn’t.
A relationship can form pretty easily. However, it’s difficult to maintain that relationship. In this way, they’re progressing far ahead and you aren’t ready for that. There’s a time for everything but they think that the time is in a couple of seconds instead a couple of years. This puts you in a tight spot and no one likes to be made to choose in the moment. You need to think before taking a single step because then they’ll over think it and it’ll burn a hole in them.
So on one hand you’re actually looking out for them whilst on the other, they’re making it hard for you. You have your personal space and even your partner isn’t allowed to invade that. You need some space to breathe and think properly before making any decisions.
8- He wants you to tell him every single thing:
There are obviously things that he needs to know and similarly, there are things that he doesn’t need to know. These aren’t life or death secrets, you aren’t a serial killer or anything like that but you rather not talk about them. Bottom line is that it has nothing to do with him or the relationship so whether you tell him or not is entirely up to you.
They might be things you’re uncomfortable talking about or things you just don’t think are that important to say. So, you think it’s best not to tell them. However, they won’t have it that way. They’ll constantly nag you about it until you tell them. They think that just because you two are in a relationship, you’re entitled to tell him absolutely everything. In fact, you aren’t entitled to tell him anything unless you feel like it. – Continue reading on next page
These aren’t dire things which have to be said, so him making a big deal out of it is completely unfair to you. Yet, in his mind, these are things he needs to know because it somehow benefits the relationship. When in fact, it just boosts his assurance.
9- Anything you do affects him:
To have someone care deeply enough so as to literally feel your pain is truly a once in a lifetime thing. With that being said, an insecure boyfriend will take this to unimaginable heights. He’ll literally act like any step you take makes an impact on his life. When in fact, it hasn’t got the slightest thing to do with him!
This is just him trying to feel ‘close’ to you. You can actually tell him all you want that it’s making you feel uncomfortable, but he won’t budge. The thing with an insecure boyfriend is that it requires some real deep convincing to get them to accept facts. Other than that, they’ll continue on in their made up scenarios acting like that’s the life their living even though it’s way too far from reality to ever be possible.
You do something really small and he’ll act like it changed his life completely. He takes everything to heart and that’s the thing holding him back from a happy relationship. Even though he’ll be happy on some days, on other days he’ll feel like everything is crumbling and he needs to do something really dire in order to fix it. In reality, it’ll be nothing.
10- He’s overly sensitive:
Not just talking about the relationship here, he’s just sensitive in general. Let me explain insecurities to you: feeling like you’re never good enough. This is triggered by things people have said or done to you multiple times or once so severely that it leaves a mark on you. To think that because he’s insecure and nagging you, you should break up with him right away will never make you the smarter person.
It just means that you’re being insensitive to his sensitivity. He can’t help that someone stomped his heart before and now he needs you to fix it back. He can have his way and that might be annoying for some, but hey you’re the one who told him that you’ll be there for him through thick or thin.
The fact is that he isn’t like that ALL the time. He’s like that on some occasions. Life is like that, it goes from good to bad and back to good in seconds. Your relationship is a part of your life so obviously it’ll have its up’s and down’s. The key is to make your partner feel like it’s okay. This is a way to help them. Besides, you love them.
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Do you have an insecure boyfriend? Let me know in the comments down below!