Just to get this out of the way, you should never blame yourself for being the victim in a toxic and abusive relationship. It isn’t your fault. You shouldn’t be ashamed that you got tricked into being in a toxic relationship with someone. You shouldn’t hate yourself for being a victim of abuse and manipulation at the hands of a sadistic human being.
But with that said, you still have to do your part in protecting yourself and keeping yourself guarded. You still have to make sure that you are taking precaution in your approach to dating. Yes, you have to be vulnerable if you really want to find true love with a person.
But you can’t just always be opening yourself up to the manipulation of others. You still have to make sure to protect your heart the best way that you can. There are evil people everywhere who are looking to prey on the weak; and you can’t allow yourself to be weak if you don’t want to end up getting hurt again.
So what can you do to protect yourself from abusive and manipulative individuals? Well, you can make sure to avoid doing these 10 things:
1. You don’t listen whenever your friends tell you that you’re being played.
You should never let your friends dictate how you live your life. It’s important to get that point out of the way. However, you should never just automatically dismiss whatever they have to say either. They are your friends and they genuinely care about you. They love you and they want what is best for you. If they are expressing genuine concern for your relationship, perhaps you should listen.
2. You don’t learn from the mistakes of your past relationships.
It’s good to move on from failed relationships of the past. But it isn’t good to just forget about all of the lessons that you may have picked up from those relationships.
3. You let your desperation lead you into making bad decisions about love.
Never let desperation be what drives you in your love life. Sometimes, you should just be content with being single. In fact, you have to learn to embrace it. Don’t be so desperate to find love for yourself that you end up settling for terrible guys who are only going to treat you poorly. It’s better to be single than to be in a toxic relationship.
4. You don’t let the men that you date put in the effort to earn your trust.
Don’t be so quick to trust people. While it’s good to always try your best to stay positive; while it may be good to always choose to see the good in people, you can’t ignore the bad either. You have to keep it real. Let men earn your trust. Let them prove to you that they are worth actually falling in love with and taking a chance on.
5. You always attach yourself to the same kind of men.
If you find that you are stuck in a series of toxic and manipulative relationships, then perhaps it’s because you are dating the same kind of guys over and over again. Stop attaching yourself to a certain type of man. Learn to date outside of what you’re used to. Maybe if you date a different kind of guy, you won’t find yourself in a toxic relationship any longer.
6. You are too liberal with giving second chances.
It’s good to be forgiving. But it isn’t good when you become too lenient. Some men don’t deserve second chances. And you just have to try to be a better judge of character.
7. You don’t really pay attention to your instincts.
Learn to listen toy our gut. Your instincts are there to protect you. Your instincts are supposed to be your subconscious mind’s final line of defense. Even though you might genuinely believe that you’re with a great guy, you have to listen to your instincts if they are telling you otherwise.
8. You excuse a man’s terrible treatment of you.
No man is perfect. And so it’s okay to excuse poor behavior every once in a while. But it also gets to a point where you really have to put your foot down an demand for better treatment.
9. You give more love to your partner than you do to yourself.
It’s good to be generous; but you can’t be so selfless to the point where you actually start to neglect your own needs and you begin to compromise your own worth. You should love your partner wholeheartedly but you should also love yourself just as much.
10. You don’t act smart about it.
At the end of the day, even though love is an emotional venture, you should still be able to be smart about it. You can’t just recklessly allow yourself to fall in love with someone and expect to not get hurt in the process. You still have to make sure that you stay smart in your approach to falling in love.
Have you been abused? Talk to me in the comments below!