10 Ways that happy couples argue differently
The way a couple deals with a fight can tell a lot about the condition and well-being of a relationship, you can often predict how long a relationship will last if you witness the way a couple handles hot waters. It’s not how a couple enjoys their similarities, rather, what determines the strength of their bond is, how well they deal with their differences. So, it is very important to develop healthy habits of communication even during an argument, if you want to ensure a happy relationship.
10. Don’t try to avoid conflict
Nobody likes to argue, but even in the happiest of relationships, a couple cannot agree to everything all the time, that is just indicative of submissive behavior. So, whenever you come across a disagreement, running away from it might seem easy but what you need to remember is, now that you’re in a relationship, all your choices affect the two of you, so don’t В try to avoid a discussion just because it is more convenient for you. Take the problem head on and have an attitude that will give you positive results.
9. Do not make personal attacks
Worst mistake you can make during a fight is, using your partner’s weak points against them, trying to make them vulnerable by using something negative your partner confided in you, against them. Address the problem at hand and focus on problem solving only. Don’t attack your partner by playing the blame game, name calling or accusations; character assassination will not only hurt them but also take you far from the solution.
8. Listen respectfully and be there
Pay complete attention to your partner. If they feel strongly about something, just listen to what they’re saying, even if you don’t agree with what they are saying ignore the urge to answer instantly, don’t interrupt instead В just be present and make them feel heard, you can give your input later. Trying to counteract anger with more anger will never get you anywhere. Your body language should also reflect that they have your undivided attention; face your partner, stop what you’re doing, make eye contact. Give respect.
7. Keep the volume down
The louder someone screams, less likely they are to be heard. Even if one partner is yelling, doesn’t mean you start being loud to match their В volume, this will increase the negativity and take away the attention from the problem to the noise.
6. Encourage and reciprocate honesty
Be open and honest about how you feel and voice it in an acceptable manner. Similarly, if you react brutally to your partner’s views and thoughts, you can never expect them to express themselves completely to you, and you can’t blame them for being evasive. Make them feel safe by being polite, both verbally and physically and set limits to your anger.
5. Don’t jump to conclusions
Speaking without having all the facts and jumping to conclusions, can really mess up the argument. First, get all the facts right, be specific about the problem and then stick to it, don’t make assumptions and be clear about what the actual issue is and ask your partner to do the same, this will make getting to the root of the problem easier.
4. Explore all options
When you are done talking about the problem, the next step is to move towards the solution. The best way to come up with an ideal solution, is to explore all options, make a list if you have to. Be cooperative with each other, the fight will end when cooperation begins. Take suggestions from your partner, remember; even if you’re going through a rough patch, you love them and you’re still a team. Be collaborative.
3. Find common ground
After you have all the options to the solution, you now need to select the best one of the lot, something which will work for both of you and preferably, permanently resolve the issue. Don’t enforce your decision, it will render the point of having a discussion useless.
2. Let your partner retreat with dignity
Fights can create and maintain negativity between a couple if the couple fights to win an argument rather than having a healthy discussion, ego becomes more important than the relationship. Even if you are right, don’t insult your partner in such a way that they feel miserable about themselves. It is very important how an argument ends, if your partner leaves the fight feeling offended, hurt or ashamed of themselves then you have failed to have a conclusive argument and have developed another problem.
1. Keep your fights out of the bedroom
Many couples, especially women, are known to withhold love after a fight. Looking for vengeance can be poisonous to your relationship, don’t let the fight get in the way of your love for each other. Don’t try to balance the score, love is the only thing which can be the ultimate solution to all your problems.