Over a year ago, I was in a relationship that was going nowhere, a relationship where every day got sadder than the last, it was a horrible feeling, and I was just too scared of letting go because the process of moving on is just too hard for anyone to go through.
But, eventually, it had to be done. I decided that the sorrow I’m going to go through for a few months is better than a lifetime of trauma and suffocation, so I decided to let go and move on with my life and make myself breathe again. It was the best decision of my life; it wasn’t easy, though.
This article is for people who are going through similar situations when they feel like they don’t know themselves anymore.
These are the twelve signs it’s time to let go.
12. You constantly feel suffocated
Are you in a relationship where you always feel suffocated? Where do you contact like you can’t be yourself and can’t speak your heart out? In a relationship where any sign of letting yourself heard has to be kept inside of you because of some fear that you’ve developed?
I was in it once, and I know how horrible it feels. You need to be with someone who can fill you with life and energy, not take it away from you. Just walk away, stop torturing yourself!
11. They’re continually trying to change you
Are you with someone who’s always trying to change you? Who keeps nagging you about every single thing that represents the person you are and contradicts your individuality? No one has the power or the right to change you unless you want to improve on your own without any outside pressure.
Change comes from within; change definitively does NOT come from love, and love shouldn’t turn you from the person you are to a person you don’t want to be. Be with someone who cherishes you for who you are and not someone who isn’t happy with the person you are.
10. A few blissful moments are making you stay
Are you in a relationship where you always have to look back at the few happy moments you two had together to make your relationship look better than it is? A relationship isn’t meant to die down with time; it’s expected to grow stronger.
Don’t live in the past; a few happy moments that happened, in the beginning, don’t and can’t define your relationship forever, and you’ll slowly get tired of living in the past with the same person who’s with you in the present. Be with someone who doesn’t make you count the good days because you’re too afraid of counting the bad.
9. You’re waiting for them to change or be a better person to you
No one has the power to change you, and you don’t have the ability to change anyone either. If you’re with someone who mistreats you and you’re just waiting on them to be a better person and to change for you, don’t waste your time or your emotions.
A naturally bad person won’t magically change because of your pain, I’ve seen only a handful of people who have improved because they were causing pain to their partners, most people don’t and stay the way they are because they don’t care enough. Don’t wait for the person to start treating you better magically; find someone who is like that from the get-go.
8. You’re in an abusive relationship
I was in an abusive relationship, a verbally abusive relationship. Whenever we used to fight, she used to resort to cursing and to scream, those words hurt more than physical pain, and I still cringe when I think of those days. That’s why I decided to move on. If you’re with someone who physically or verbally abuses you, you don’t need that person in your life, and you’re better of without them and that negative energy.
7. You often find yourself thinking about your ex
If you’re in a relationship that’s so bad that you sometimes think about your ex is better, you’re not with the right person. Your ex is your ex because you two couldn’t make it work because the truth between the two of you couldn’t remain the same, but if your current relationship is making you think about that person, then you need to find someone who can bring you out of your past, ultimately.
6. They keep making the same mistakes over and over
When people make mistakes, they make up for those mistakes and learn their lesson. They don’t go back to those mistakes ever again. Otherwise, the entire concept of apologizing for that same mistake the first time becomes completely illogical and wasteful.
If you’re with someone who keeps hurting you by making the same mistake over and over again, even though you two had talked things out correctly the first time, you need to find someone who knows not to hurt you with the same mistakes.
5. Your partner is insanely hard to please
My ex was very hard to please, no matter how much effort I put in for her, she never used to be happy with me. I bought her countless things, gave her all of my time, devoted all my love to her, and it still wasn’t enough somehow, and she wanted more.
Don’t be with someone who fits that description because you’ll soon start blaming yourself for the other person’s problems; some people don’t want to be happy, and you don’t have to waste your time and your feelings on those people.
4. Your relationship is making you weak
If you’re in a relationship where your partner starts making you feel nervous, whether it’s about the person you are or the lifestyle you live, you need to let go and move on. Your relationship is supposed to make you stronger than you already are, it’s supposed to enhance your way of living, and it’s supposed to make everything so much better, if it starts going the other way around you need to start walking.
3. Your partner always complains about you
Being with a hypercritical person is impossible; they make you feel bad about yourself in different ways every other day. Don’t be with someone who continually complains even though you try your best to make them happy, be with someone who appreciates and cherishes your actions, and remembers your efforts regardless of how big or small those efforts are.
If you let yourself stay too long with someone who continually complains, not only will you start feeling horrible about yourself, but you’ll also slowly start turning into the sort of person who complains a lot.
2. Your partner doesn’t put any effort into the relationship
Are you with a person who doesn’t make any effort to make the relationship better? Who’s happy with you as long as you do things for them, and as long as you start complaining that you feel ignored or you feel like the relationship is becoming one-sided, they start throwing a tantrum?
If yes, you don’t need to wait for their eyes to open up and see what sort of person they’re about to lose. Find someone who does things for you, for your happiness, for your well being, be with someone who knows how to make you happy.
1. Your relationship is holding you back
If you’re with someone who keeps holding you back, from achieving your goals, from being the person you always wanted to be, from reaching your dreams, you need to move on. It’s better to be single than to be with someone who holds you back.
Question of the day
How did you move on? How long did it take, and how did you finally get yourself out of it? Leave your answers in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!