Studies have already shown the infidelity is the leading cause for separation or divorce in many countries that span the whole world. And of course, this shouldn’t necessarily be a surprise. It’s no secret that any kind of relationship that exists should always be built on a foundation of mutual trust and respect. And whenever a betrayal takes place in a relationship, then it automatically comes into violation of these two basic principles. A betrayal in a relationship can really damage a person’s self-esteem and confidence to go along with the damage that targets trust and respect.
Your perception of a person can really change whenever that individual happens to do something that betrays you. And that’s why a betrayal can significantly damage the level of closeness and intimacy between two people in a relationship; even when a couple is trying to get as close as possible to one another, a betrayal can just bridge these two people further and further apart. And don’t make the mistake of thinking that the person who is betrayed is the only victim in this scenario. Yes, the person who is betrayed is the greater victim; but when it comes to acts of betrayal, there are really no winners in a relationship setting.
The person who betrays is often left with severe feelings of loss, guilt, shame, regret, and insecurity. In a lot of these cases, it can really break down the integrity of the relationship because both people feel scarred and wounded. However, you should know that it’s always possible to rebuild a relationship even after it has been tarnished by betrayal. It’s not always going to be easy; and there is a very real chance that you’re going to fail. But if you’ve been wronged in your relationship but you still want to do your best to make sure that things turn out okay for the two of you, then this is what you need to know:
1. As difficult as it might be, you need to learn to forgive.
Forgiveness is key. You are never going to be able to fix things in your relationship if you keep holding on to the pain and hatred that you have in your heart. Yes, the negative feelings are there; but you really need to learn to confront them and then detach from them.
2. Don’t shame or humiliate your partner no matter how much they might deserve it.
Your partner already feels shame and regret for what they did; otherwise, they would no longer be here trying to make things work with you. So, that’s why you shouldn’t really be doing anything to further humiliate them. You shouldn’t be making them feel like this is a bargaining chip that you’re going to cash in. Conduct yourself with grace, poise, and class in the face of adversity. Your partner is going to love you for it; and you’re going to feel so proud of the way that you handle the entire situation.
3. Take some genuine time to really talk about the breach of trust.
You can’t expect to heal from the issue if you’re just going to sweep it under the rug. You can’t just choose to pretend like the betrayal never happened if you’re going to want to heal from it. Part of healing and growth is being able to come to terms with the root of the problem; acknowledge that it exists, confront it, and try to move past it once you’re ready to do so. Really talk about it with your partner in a healthy and mature manner so that the two of you can really learn and grow from it. It’s important that you are both able to really acknowledge this dark epoch in your relationship; and try your best to move past it.
4. Learn to keep your eyes on the bigger picture.
At the end of the day, as significant as it may be, the breach of trust comprises only one aspect of your relationship. And maybe, if you continue to look at the greater scheme of things, it will be easier for you to just overlook the act of betrayal. That doesn’t mean that you should be downplaying just how impactful this betrayal was on your relationship. But maybe, if you look at the bigger picture, you will be reminded of the many reasons that you need to hold on to your relationship. Yes, the betrayal was a huge blow to your romance; and it has really turned you off to the idea of having to fight for your relationship.
But if you remind yourself of the parts of your relationship that bring meaning, happiness, joy, and fulfilment to your life, then maybe things aren’t going to be as bad as they seem. Always try to keep things in perspective. There are very little things in this world that a healthy perspective can’t fix; especially when it comes to relationships.