As much as breaking up with a romantic partner hurts, breaking up with a friend can hurt us much more than that. When we are dating someone, in a far corner of our head we bear the possibility that it may or may not work out, but with a friend you know you are in for a long run, for a lifetime in fact. So, getting over an unexpected break-up with your friend can be more or at least equally hard, you never really see it coming. Here are a few survival tips in case you just said some angry goodbyes.
1. Don’t cut off all ties
I understand that you are sad, angry and hurt right now, you might even want to throw a brick at them, but let’s just hold that brick and control our anger. Try not to say things which would mean complete amputation of this relationship. You might be really angry and closed for discussions right now, but the situations change and so does our perspective, you may want to reconcile with them, maybe in a few days, months or even years, so don’t shut this door completely.
2. Know when to stop
Whether it was your fault or not, if you have taken the high road and tried contacting them every way possible, left them a dozen messages, called them, ran back and forth from their place to yours, taken help from mediators etc then you need to know that you have done enough, you need to keep your self-respect and back off. Accept that the person does not want to communicate with you, the sooner you accept that it’s never going to be the same, the sooner you can move forward.
3. Get rid of the reminders
Now that you know it’s over, seeing things that remind you of them might hurt you or infuriate you. Save yourself the emotional turmoil and get rid of all the memories. You need to put your friend and the reminders out of your sight- just like after breaking up with your significant other, from social networks, your phone, all those gifts and the photos need to be out of sight too.
4. Divert your attention
As much as you would like to mope around in your pj’s all day, it’s not going to help with the healing process. Look for healthy distractions, they will keep you busy and prevent you from overthinking. Crying and playing the blame game is taking you nowhere. Go paint a wall or something, just keep busy.
So your friend was irreplaceable, but the fact is you guys hit a rough patch and it isn’t going too well. This doesn’t mean you have to shun all human contact, go out and spend time with your other friends and acquaintances. Chances are you might find a new best friend and even better, В they might have some of the additional qualities your ex-friend lacked. Make plans, give your other friends a chance and socialize.
6. Learn from it
Like all other bad experiences in our life, learn from this one too. If it was your fault, try to work on those shortcomings and be a better friend; or maybe the lesson was that you need to put your trust in the right people, or not give people too many chances. Whatever the situation is, find the lesson and let it help you grow as a person.