Oh! That feeling you get in your tummy when you see their smile.В The excitement of planning a surprise for your love.В That surprising amount of patience you have for their hobbies and annoying little habits.
All of that, we feel all of these when we fall in love, initially, but always and almost with every one of these feelings, initial efforts and a lot of other things start to lessen or fade away.В If you find yourself often staring with those little needy-kitty eyes at a couple that just can’t stop themselves from hugging, holding or kissing each other, instead of looking at your own partner. If you find yourself envying a couple who can’t get their eyes off of each other, can’t stop complimenting each other, then it is time for some DAMAGE CONTROL!
That isn’t something you should be doing if you are completely and entirely happy in your own relationship.В We all want to find the one, that is all we think about when we look for a partner. Meeting them is the only thing our hearts and minds are focused on. We never really think beyond that moment, beyond the fantasies. Beyond first birthday celebrations, together, beyond the first kiss, the first time you make love, the first vacations together.В We never really think beyond that or of the small things that come between even the two most perfect people.
What about the time when you will have to settle, who is going to do the dishes this time or compromising on your plans because your partner has this sudden important meeting that just can’t be rescheduled?
What about meeting your partner’s not-so-appropriate family members for the 27th time?
What about the 367th kiss or the time when he/she is in the mood for some candle-lit making-love kind of romance and all you want is to throw yourself at the bed and fall asleep?
We want a perfect forever-and-ever kind of relationship but we never plan how we are going to make it work and that is why when all the 1st, 5th, 10th are over, we start losing that special feeling of having someone so perfect in our lives. The efforts feel unnecessary and such a task.
Been there done that, that’s how we feel with every repetitive ritual, celebration or even as small as getting a rose for your partner.
But that is the whole point, if you truly love them and you both really put the effort to make each other feel the amount of love you have for each other, trust me, even the 367th will feel like the first.
To help you out with this, here are a few things.
1. Keep calling each other with random, adorable and publicly-forbidden nicknames
It keeps the relationship fun and fresh. Don’t forget that these nicknames are a way to to express your feelings. Sometimes, people forget all those mushy things they used to say to one another once the relationship matures. Say, I love you, often and don’t shy away from words that truly express how you feel. Reuse all those nicknames that you both used for each other initially and make new ones up.
2. Reminisce about old memories
Taking the time to remember what that feeling of butterflies in stomach really felt like can help you to recapture it. Sometimes, remembering all those things that the two of you have done for each other can really rekindle the kind of love you want, the kind of love you both used to have.
Reminisce on your own then talk about it with your partner. Coming together to think about the old days will also bring to mind the romance and things that drew you together in the first place. It will help you get that motivation to act like new lovers.
Maybe recreate old memories that would help you both to relive them further and come closer.
3. Spice things up in the bedroom
Talk about your fantasies and the things you like that your partner does. Stay open-minded; the key here is to mix it up in a way you hadn’t yet explored. Doing something new will help you keep your intimacy happening. It is a pivotal fact of a relationship that the two need to connect in bed. If your level of intimacyВ has gone boring and monotonous, then you need to make a few changes. A non-existential level of intimacyВ can cause a lot of frustration between two people and could cause greater problems like cheating.
4. Leave notes & messages!
Remember how you wished them good luck for something important or how you checked if they have eaten anything or not? Start doing that again. All these little messages will show you care and in return, your partner will automatically feel the urge to express their love in the same way.
A message in between a wild day at work or a message when you are sitting at home alone could really make your partner’s day, so why not!В Be there for your partner.
5. Give them gifts
It might sound like I am asking you to buy them happiness but that is not the whole truth. If you want your partner to feel like you really love them, money is one of a few things you should spend on them, other than time, effort, patience etc. Remember that a good gift doesn’t have to be an expensive gift; just something that is meaningful to the recipient.
Get them something they have been looking forward to getting, maybe a book or a piece of jewellery. It is really never about the worth of the gift that women especially feel like they want from their partner but the real reason is that you work hard to get that money and to spend something like that on them really makes them feel that they mean more to all the thirty days’ worth of pay cheque/ hard work.
The whole point is to surprise them, whether it is a small gift or a big one, just do it.
6. Talk it out
Most importantly and lastly, talk things out!В Don’t let things stay un-communicated. Things that you can’t let go of and still don’t talk about, they will go on bothering you till you vomit them out, till then, it will keep making you more and more frustrated with your partner. Instead, talk it out with your partner so you both can reach a solution.
The key is to stay patient, positive and open. Be welcoming, when they give you an explanation because if you are worth that explanation then know that they still love you enough to try and win you over.В Cherish every word they say.В Value this effort.
And end the conversation with heartfelt appreciation. Be equally giving and try to clear out things on your part as well.
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What do you do to make your relationship feel like new and to keep that spark alive? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!