Are you a better person because of your relationship?
Hey, it happens. Sometimes, relationships fall into ruts. Your first mistake was in thinking that your relationship was immune to it. All relationships are susceptible to problems and turmoil. No relationships are going to be free from the looming possibilities of hardships and emotionally stressful situations. It can be especially disconcerting if you really notice that the pace of your relationship has slowed down since you had first gotten together. At first, it felt like you were flying without ease. You were breezing through the various stages in your relationship and you were both happy. But nowadays, you notice that you can barely even lift one foot to inch forward in the relationship. You are having a substantially difficult time in your relationship and there’s no denying it. However, you don’t have to worry just yet. As mentioned, all relationships are always prone to hardships. The strong ones are able to survive while the weak ones just wither away. That is the law of nature.
So what you have to decide now is if you are in a relationship that is actually strong enough to get through these hardships and trials. Do you have a love that is actually strong enough to help pick you out of this current rut that you are in? Are you both willing to put in the work, time, and effort that you need to get things back on track in your relationship?
There are a few things that you need to ponder on with regards to it. You don’t want to end up wasting your time by trying to force a relationship that doesn’t stand a chance. But you also don’t want to be walking away from a relationship that you can actually fix. To help you come to a decision, here are a few important points to think about.
1. How reasonable are your expectations?
You have to consider the possibility that the reason you are always feeling disappointed in your relationship is because your expectations are a little unreasonable. Too often, the problems in a relationship are self-inflicted and they can always be fixed with a simple change in perspective. If, however, you believe that your expectations are reasonable and they still aren’t being met on a consistent basis, then perhaps you have cause for concern.
2. Is the discomfort and unhappiness that you are feeling something that is constantly lingering?
It’s okay to have spurts of unhappiness and discomfort in any relationship. Just because you occasionally feel sad or overwhelmed by the state of your relationship doesn’t mean that you are in a bad situation. Remember that these hard times are only temporary and you can always look forward to better days. But it’s a different story if the unhappiness you feel is starting to feel permanent.
3. Are there any things in your relationship now that remind you of failed relationships in the past?
It would help your decision-making process a lot if you have some experience in relationships. If you notice that there are aspects of your current relationship that remind you of failed relationships in the past, then that is never a good sign. The trends are consistent. However, if you notice that your feelings are born out of a new area, then maybe it’s worth sticking things out for.
4. Are the both of you able to freely discuss your feelings and your difficulties?
One of the greatest solutions to overcoming ruts and problems in relationships is having free and open communication. If you and your partner are always cultivating an environment of honest communication for one another, then you always have a shot at working things out. But if you feel like you are in a problematic relationship, and you aren’t free to discuss those problems with your partner, then that is definitely a bad situation that has little hope for life.
5. Can you think of any concrete changes that you can make to fix the problems in your relationship?
If you can think of real concrete solutions that you can try out to help fix things in your relationship, then go right ahead and give them a try. So as long as both of you are willing to try new things to make the relationship work, then you have a shot at sustaining your relationship.
6. Are you a better person because of this relationship?
Another great driving factor in relationships is its effect on you as an individual. If you feel like despite the hardships of a relationship that you are a better person because of it, then you should always try your best to make things work. Being in a problematic relationship that makes you a better person is a more ideal situation than being in a stable relationship that makes you a horrible human being.
7. Is the person that you’re with someone you can picture yourself spending the rest of your life with?
If yes, fight for it. If no, then cut things off. Sometimes, it’s just as simple as that.
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