Starting a new romantic journey often means uncovering the stories of our potential partners. But, in the quest for honesty, some people excel in the art of deception. Spotting a narcissist can be tricky, especially when they weave elaborate stories about their past relationships. In the dating world, a common theme emerges: the lies they tell about their exes.
In this article, we’ll talk about the interesting world of dating stories, especially the tales told by people we might call narcissists. Get set to discover the real deal behind those “my ex was obsessed” stories – it’s going to be quite an adventure!
1. The Exaggerated Ex Excuse
Ever met someone who claims their ex was the human version of a tornado? Narcissists often start by painting their ex-partners as certifiable lunatics, hoping to cast themselves as the innocent victim. Beware of tales that sound like they’re straight out of a soap opera – sometimes, the drama isn’t as wild as they make it out to be.
2. “I’m the Victim” Vibes
Narcissists have a knack for playing the victim card, and a classic move is to insist their ex was a crazed stalker. It’s an attempt to create sympathy and make you feel like the knight in shining armor rescuing them from a chaotic past. Keep your antennas up; reality might be quite different.
3. Selective Storytelling
Watch out for the one-sided narratives where everything bad that ever happened in the relationship was apparently the ex’s fault. Narcissists often conveniently omit their role in the conflicts, creating a distorted picture of the past. Healthy relationships involve two flawed humans, not just one.
4. Blaming the Unseen
When a date starts blaming their ex for every little hiccup in the relationship, be wary. Narcissists have a tendency to project their own faults onto others. If the ex is being portrayed as an obsessive maniac without any evidence, it might be a smokescreen to divert attention from the real issues at hand.
5. The Mysterious Vanishing Act
If your date hints at their ex mysteriously disappearing or cutting ties without reason, it might be a red flag. Narcissists might invent tales of abrupt breakups to evade accountability for the relationship’s demise. Genuine connections involve open communication, not sudden vanishings into thin air.
6. “I’ve Never Felt This Way Before”
When a date claims you’re the first person who makes them feel loved, be cautious. Narcissists often use this line to exploit your empathy and trigger your protective instincts. It might be a ploy to rush you into a deep emotional commitment before you have a chance to see through their façade.
7. The “They Never Understood Me” Excuse
When your date insists their ex never truly grasped their depth or uniqueness, approach with caution. Narcissists often use this narrative to portray themselves as misunderstood geniuses. In reality, healthy relationships involve understanding and compromise from both sides, not a one-sided intellectual superiority contest.
8. Excessive Flattery and Idealization
If your date showers you with excessive praise while subtly criticizing their ex’s perceived flaws, be on guard. Narcissists excel at idealizing new partners to create an illusion of perfection. This tactic helps distract you from questioning their own shortcomings and questionable behaviors in the relationship.
Have you ever identified deceptive patterns in the behavior of someone with narcissistic traits while dating? Share your insights and experiences in the comments section!