It’s scary because during these clashes, we often try to find someone or something to blame.
It’s a constant question that we ask ourselves whenever we’re in a relationship with another person. Are we really compatible as a couple?. We’ve all encountered our friends in relationships who tell us that their compatibility levels are just shooting through the roof. And then all of our fears and insecurities start building up inside of us. We start to wonder what it really means to be compatible with someone, and we ask ourselves why we don’t have the same kind of assuredness and confidence that our friends in relationships have. I even get a little bit jealous of my friends; at how simply they can just dismiss all logic and reason and just plain know that they’re compatible with their partners. It’s the kind of confidence and assuredness that I want to have with my partner as well, but I just don’t think that I’m quite there yet. And so I’m forced to really examine my relationships in ways that I’ve never been able to in the past. I have to consider the possibility that perhaps I’m not really meant to be with my partner. I have to be able to prepare myself in the event that our incompatibility issues will eventually pave the way for our demise as a couple.
And incompatibility means so much more than having shallow fundamental differences. Most strong relationships are able to overcome these shallow differences. It’s the big ones that I’m most concerned about. Whether it be about our dreams in life or our fundamental values and principles that we hold so dear and would never be willing to compromise for anything or anyone; it’s scary to think that we can force our way through these differences. It’s scary because, during these clashes, we often try to find someone or something to blame. But in these moments, no one is to blame. Nothing is to blame. It’s just life and we have to accept it.
Here are a few signs that you and your partner are incompatible.
1. You don’t agree on whether you want to have kids in the future.
Kids are deal breakers for a lot of people. In a traditional sense, a lot of people will want to get into relationships for the sole purpose of forming a family with someone in the future. And so if you don’t share the same principles on family and procreation, then you are really incompatible.
2. You don’t agree with future living arrangements.
One of the most vital stages of the long-lasting relationship is actually making the decision to live together. So if you and your partner can’t really agree on any future living arrangements for yourselves, then it is highly likely that your relationship is on a fast track to nowhere.
Money is important in a relationship. Those who say that money doesn’t matter in love are either immature, aloof, or downright deluded. So if you and your partner have conflicts when it comes to the management of your finances, this could be a big sign that you are just incompatible with one another.
4. You argue way too much with one another.
Having arguments in a relationship is normal. You don’t have to stress if you and your partner have the occasional fights and disagreements. But when you keep on recycling arguments, it may be an indicator that you have many unresolved and irreconcilable issues that will never be fixed.
5. You don’t really get along with each other’s friends or family.
Friends and family are always important. If you want your relationship to have a shot, you have to be able to integrate one another into each of your social circles. If there is a lot of turbulence in this process, then that may be a big sign that you’re just not meant to be together.
6. You enjoy the time that you spend apart more than the time that you spend together
What does it say about your relationship when you find more joy and fulfillment in spending time apart than spending time together? It is a sign that your relationship is a toxic environment for you and all you want to do is get out of it.
Expectations are important. None of us ever go into relationships without having a fair share of expectations. And when we are unable to satisfy one another’s expectations in the relationship, then that is a definite recipe for disaster. It’s also a huge sign of incompatibility.
8. You don’t think it’s important to spend time with each other.
Lastly, if you don’t feel compelled to spend time with your partner in a large capacity, then you’re really not meant to be. You would rather spend your time doing things that are more important to you, and your partner really isn’t a priority.
Talk to me
Have you been in this position? Talk to me in the comments below!