Unreasonable expectations = end of relationships.
Standards in relationship are important. You would never want to walk into a relationship that is purely beneath you. You would never want to settle for a relationship especially when you know that you could do so much better. It’s important that you always know what you’re worth and that you shouldn’t have to lower your standards just to be in a relationship for the sake of it.
But you also have to keep in mind that there is a difference in fighting for the love that you deserve and being unreasonable with your standards for people. You have to be able to be reasonable with your expectations or else you risk condemning yourself to a life of loneliness and solitude. No one will ever want to put up with your unreasonable expectations no matter who you are. You can’t expect too much from people because all human beings are inherently flawed and imperfect. You have to remember that a huge bulk of what makes relationships work lies in being able to make compromises every once in a while. While you should never be willing to give up your most sacred principles, you have to allow yourself to be more lenient and flexible in the areas that allow for it.
Don’t think of the adjustment of your expectations to be the welcoming of mediocrity. Just think of it as you allowing yourself to be more open-minded and receptive to people. Think of it as you deliberately placing yourself outside of your comfort zone for a real chance at love. Because the truth is, you’re rarely ever going to find what you’re looking for if you only limit yourself to a group of people who satisfy your personal checklist for relationships. Sometimes, in order to really accommodate your one true love, you have to be able to make some adjustments to your standards especially when you’re just being downright unreasonable.
Here are 9 signs that your expectations for relationships are unreasonably high:
1. Your list of deal breakers is way too long.
Naturally, you’re going to have your list of deal breakers. This list is going to be filled with things that are nonnegotiable for you when it comes to finding a partner. But if you find that your list of deal breakers is far too long, then it means you are substantially limiting your pool of potential candidates.
2. You wish for a partner who wouldn’t spend any time with their friends.
It’s totally unreasonable for you to only want to be with someone who would willingly give up their entire social lives for you. You have to respect that the people you can potentially fall in love with still have their own lives to live.
3. You always find yourself dropping out after the first or second date.
The fact that you always drop out of relationships even if it’s only been the first and second date is a sign that you are just plain impatient. Sometimes, it takes a while for people to really warm up to one another. Don’t be so unreasonably dismissive too quickly.
4. Your friends and family are telling you that your standards are too high.
While your friends and family shouldn’t be imposing their opinions on how you want to go about your love life, you should still be willing to hear what they have to say. They might be seeing some things that you are blinding yourself to.
5. You have yet to find someone who actually is able to live up to your standards.
The very fact that you have yet to meet a single person who manages to tick off all of the items on your checklist is a testament to just how unreasonable your standards are. You have to come to terms with the fact that your ideal partner just doesn’t exist.
6. You never feel like the relationships you’re in are ever good enough.
Sometimes, a little shift in perspective will be enough to fix things for you. You just have to try seeing things in a new light and maybe you will start finding success in life.
7. You tie your sense of self-esteem to who you’re in a relationship with.
You are far too concerned with tying yourself to someone you want to treat as a trophy instead of just finding yourself someone you can genuinely fall in love with. You shouldn’t be tying your sense of self-esteem to how popular your partner might be.
8. You want a partner who agrees with you on everything.
No single person on this earth is going to agree with you on everything. Not even the people who love you most in life will see eye to eye with you every single time. You can’t reasonably impose that kind of standard on anyone.
9. You judge your relationship based on how it compares to others on social media.
You should always be able to take a relationship as it is without comparing it to others. Don’t tie the value of your relationship based on how it stacks up against other relationships. Just because your couple pictures don’t get more likes on Instagram than other couples doesn’t mean that your relationship is any less valid.
Talk to me
Does this resonate with you? Talk to me in the comments below!