A healthy marriage is about two people supporting and taking care of each other – without making life difficult for one another. Marriages become toxic when one, or both, of the partners stop putting in the effort and work required to make them work. Today’s story is about a husband who couldn’t see his wife relax for a day and lied about their kitchen being on fire.
Redditor, Adjust-Ad3654, shared her husband’s strange and toxic story on AITA (Am I the A**hole?) to ask whether she did the right thing or not for leaving her husband alone at home for four hours. She wrote:
“Hi. I’m (31 yo female) a SAHM and my husband works full time job. To be fair his job’s very demanding and he barely finds the energy to sit at the table and eat after he gets home. We have a 9 months old son and I handle most of his care obviously but my husband plays and sleeps with him at night. To be frank, I’m fully exhausted and as a new mom I have to say I let myself go meaning I haven’t wore a nice outfit or gone out or had guests over for months.”
“My sister’s wedding is coming up and we already received an invite but thing is I had to go dress shopping and get my hair done. I asked my husband on his day off if he could stay with our son for just 2 hours til I get back and he seemed hesitant asking lots of “what if” questions but I promised he got this and I’d be quick. He shrugged saying “fine go…but 2 hours and not a minute more!” I thanked him then left but he started calling every 10#15 min asking when I’d be back.”
“Frankly, it got annoying I decided to put my phone on silent when I got to the salon but after I checked my phone later I found over 20 missed calls and a text message from him saying I needed to get home fast because there was fire in the kitchen. My heart sank I froze and started calling my sister. She came and took me home and called the cops who notified us later that there was nothing going on in our neighborhood. I was confused, especially after my husband didn’t answer my calls. I rushed inside the house to find him pacing around asking why the heck I took too long to get home.”
“I asked about the kitchen fire and he nonchantly said kitchen was fine but he wasn’t and he just had to lie to get me to get home after I ignored his calls and after leaving him with our son for 4 hours when I said 2. I was flabbergasted I screamed at him about how awful what he did was but he defended himself saying I lied to him first and made him watch our son longer than agreed upon but I said he should’ve sucked it up since this my first shopping and hair salon trip in 9 months but he asked why he should just suck it up when child care is more my responsibilty than his?…He basically blamed me for creating this issue in the first place but I said it’s his fault since he refused to pay for a babysitter and asking why he should pay for a babysitter when our son has me? He was even more upset after a cop showed up and had him go to the station to deal with his false claims of a fire incident. He blamed this on me too because I’d my sister call the cops and escalated the situation. He insisted none of this would’ve happened if I didn’t lie about how long I planned to stay out of the house and ignoring his calls. His family are enraged with how I treated him on his much needed day off.”
“Started thinking maybe I started this issue. AITA”
Reddit’s community supported this wife for what she did. For context, NTA means “Not the A**hole.” Here are some of the best comments:
“NTA – I think it’s pretty obvious that you’re not the A-hole. Parenting is a partnership. If all he does on his days off is sit and relax that isn’t fair to you. Because parenting is a 24/7 gig. He not only manipulated you and gas lit you. But he isn’t stepping up and playing a true role in his child’s life. At this point he’s acting more like an uncle or grandparent that comes in to play with the kid. Instead of parenting and raising them.”
“OP might as well ditch the husband since she’s basically a single parent already.”
“NTA Super. Another husband who couldn’t watch his own kid before calling the mom every 15 mins. Does he really expect you to always stay home with your son and never do anything for yourself again? He’s got to learn how to take care of your baby on his own.”
There are over 1000 responses on this post at the time of writing this article, you can read them on Reddit here.
NTA. This husband sounds very toxic for the kind of thing he did to get attention. He should understand his wife needs time to herself, too. We hope this woman finds peace and happiness.
What’s Your Take?
What’s your take on this wife’s situation? Talk to us in the comments below.